Roy Halladay nervously slumped in his seat when someone yelled "Is anyone here a doctor? We need a doctor!"

"Western?"

Average Iowans suffer the same condition almost every day when they have to lift their own body weight up while leaving the breakfast table.

However, if your pants are sagging because you're openly carrying a loaded Glock .45, then by all means you're more than welcome to shop at a Texas mall.

So much dust at my desk right now...

Truly a sign that China is becoming a wealthy, Westernized nation.

and mind you, I fully understand the purpose of ads and pay them no heed. I just feel the neighborhood has gotten a little crowded.

Huge Sidebar (with requisite huge Facebook plugin on top) + Massive Photo On Top of Article + Lame Hipster Art Piece Insert + Ad/Store for Said Lame Hipster Art Pieces/Huge Rando White Space on Bottom = Profit?

Good for Nate. Hopefully he'll still find time to write for the scallywags of the internet.

+1

Steven Seagal And Racist Arizona Sheriff Bust Alleged Cockfighting Ring With A Tank

Sports World 20 Years From Now: That's funny. If only he focused on his game more, maybe he would have won a ring.

The only reason why he was so calm is because that smug fuck had the final score right in front of him.

If only that were true...

Todd Haley believes any field should be colored red after he's visited it for the first time. Unlike in college though, the field will be a willing participant.

Nice to see that some of the Duke students actually look at the itemizations on their parents' Amex Black card.

I agree. She should knee a commenter in the face and post it for us.

Yanukovich's demand that the players do an interpretative re-telling of the Orange Revolution went a little too far.

Actually, it all makes more sense when you realize that 95% of all comments on Yahoo!, CNN, ESPN, and Fox came from Sendai...you don't fuck with the Ninja.

Except more musically talented