@UweBollocks: I cheat. I always chug water and eat bread before drinking, and if I have a hangover I just smoke weed and it goes away. I'm the type who uses different strains depending on my day, so I will smoke sativa if I got shit to do (I pride myself on being a functional stoner). My Irish heritage normally keeps…

@Fendi Hotdogbun: Why won't your wife let you use pot? That just sounds cruel. It's the best cure for a hangover.

@Landycakeboss: Just don't knock her up and don't pursue a trans-Atlantic relationship if it ever comes to that.

@Landycakeboss: Go pursue it. She seems like the type who'd like to get laid while in the States, might as well be you.

@Red Ned: There's an art gallery/coffee shop in the LBC that they flock to. They do slam poetry there. It's exactly what you think it is.

@SavetoFavorites: It's been a recurring trend during the week. I can't work at home as I get too distracted and they're doing road work behind my apartment complex - too noisy. I distinctly remember this not being a constant phenomenon when I was in college - what gives? I just want free wifi and some goddamn space to…

I'm at a coffee shop trying to do work. On cue, a fucking guitar guy comes in and displaces me and is strumming away his shitty music.

@vodkanaut: if you're not a blogger, you're a douche if you're live-tweeting at a game.

@ihatetwitter: Then you should. Keep in mind though, that great stories aren't just about the narratives themselves but in the way they're told. That's the difference between say, Ulysses or Infinite Jest, and someone's daily LiveJournal page.

@Same Sad Echo: I knew it was going downhill when Pandora played them.

Nick Barnett will start the 2011 season on the PUP list due to lingering issues from his butthurt injury sustained during Superbowl week.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: I don't get it. Are people who work in a packaging facility gay? Why? More importantly, why did I turn down that job at UPS?

I Acted Like A Monkey To Mock Scottish Racism

Office Justice DUAN,

@The commenter formerly known as Murray Hewitt: Why the new dress?

There's a glimmer that if Jimmer were slimmer and a bit trimmer and doesn't stumble like Zimmer even more sportswriters would be primmer about him.

@Gamboa Constrictor: Didn't see this at first, +1

@ScientificMapp: Don't worry, I already resolved it. I sent him his refund check to make up for his lost hard-earned money spent here.

If he keeps leaning against the door while shooting up like that he's sure to get track marks.

I'd strangle a person too if I saw them wasting a good $5 Mexican throw rug on a hat like that.