"How was that?"

"I just came in my panties."

"WHAT?"

"I said 'I JUST CAME IN MY PANTIES!'"

"YOU WANT TO GO TO OLIVE GARDEN FOR SOME SHRIMP SCAMPI?"

"WHAT?"

You've been chosen to represent your country at the Winter Olympics in Sochi. But first, you have to take a hellacious dump. Choice: Do you flush the toilet paper? (go to page 2) Or: Do you place the toilet paper in the bin? (go to page 3)

someone had left an indeterminate amount of semen on the sheets of the second bed, and those sheets had been taken away for cleaning, and hadn't come back.

It does not bode well that the 'missing' dog has two different names and they're both food.

Note: Water is not available until the room above you is occupied.

...not all man holes are always covered

found another replay of todays game so far

And don't get me started on people who don't eat a hotdog by separating it from the bun, swallowing the frank whole, then dunking the bun in a cup of water before trying to slide that down your throat.

Pfft. Everybody knows the best way to eat wings is with a knife & fork.

I'm gonna use Ranch instead of Blue Cheese. That's cool right?

Someone kissed my hand after anal once.

"Someone kissed my hand after anal once."

Who could blame Marshawn for his early exit as he was being followed by a large group of white men angrily yelling "Lynch"!

Wait, why is sending cock shots not on this list? HAVE I BEEN DOING IT ALL WRONG????

Can someone start a thread about how this is exactly like, or completely different, from the Richard Sherman incident? Please remember there is no middle ground here, Henderson is either a thug or champion of white civil rights. Also, remember to stereotype the person who holds a different opinion than you as either a…

Nice try, Oedipus.

Lolo doesn't want to participate in the skeleton, though. She prefers not to ride bones.

Where did you happen to find this joke? Just asking because I'm still looking for my Eagle Eye Cherry CD.

Level one is a Q-Tip in the ear.

Let's give the sun a round of applause.