How about the fact that WE'RE JUST FUCKING TIIIRED? People work more hours, parents are pressured to invest more time in childrearing, homework oversight is harder, and we're attached to electronic devices that overstimulate and detach us from human interaction.

Right? "Oh, don't be silly, dear," doesn't exactly bring the appropriate gravitas to the situation.

Having never been accused of child molestation by any child, let along my own child, I can only speculate on how I would react. However, in my speculation it is incredibly unlikely that I would react by not giving it a second thought.

"Twenty-one years ago, when I first heard Mia Farrow had accused me of child molestation, I found the idea so ludicrous I didn't give it a second thought."

This is a great example of how there's a difference between the "letter" and the "spirit" of the law, and how strict adherence to only the letter of the law can lead to incredibly stupid outcomes.

And this is why the only thing I ingest is pure, organic virgin's blood. Great for the skin, too! And running them down on moonlit nights is great exercise.

I hope they resurrect Mystery Science Theater 3000 JUST for this movie, though I would settle for a live Riff Trax or Cinematic Titanic event!

Have you noticed how many feet he made? He's totally into feet.

It rubs the soil on its skin or else it gets Satan again!

I dunno, looks like blood coagulated under the surface of the skin in a random pattern to me. I'm not good with this magic eye stuff.

8 year olds don't have developing curves. And kids aren't nearly as hyped to show their developing bodies as adults project that they are. Some of those adults design clothing. Others tout Lolita as a great love story.

I find this strangely beautiful. Good job, Britney and Sia. Good job.

"Stacy's Mom" was pretty similar to that and was made like 20 years later. Question is how would people have reacted if either of those videos involved tween girls salivating over adult men?

For a second, I thought this was the picture of Justin Bieber's dad and it did indeed explain so much.

This is where media and my life don't intersect at all. News articles are always about the girls. Whereas, because I have just boys, I get a lot of "uhoh, he's going to be trouble" and "he's too young to be interested in girls already" and "you better start having talks with him because he's going to get some girl…

8-year-olds don't need padded bikini tops, but 8-year-olds aren't the ones padding bikini tops for 8-year-olds. It's the adults we should be concerned about in that case.

Anyone remember that Van Halen video "Hot for Teacher" with all the Tween boys salivating over scantily clad sexy, gyrating "teachers" (most of whom were former Playboy models)? I wonder if that video could even be made today. The thing that grossed me out the most was when MTV was talking to some of the kids in the…

Why does Jezebel always have to mock any news about parents being concerned about their kids? And why should 8-12 year olds only have very short, tight and cropped options available in the more affordable stores? I have girls that age and they don't want to wear that stuff, but it's not easy to find cute and…

Actually, JHud is sampling Evelyn "Champagne" King's I'm in Love

Love it! She looks great and the song makes me want to sing along. Good job, J!!!