Anyone who ruins a quality cut of meat, even if it’s one of Trump’s shitty steaks, by overcooking it and dowsing it in ketchup is obviously a simpleton who should stick to ground beef. Unfortunately in this case the simpleton happens to be the President of the United States.

This is my moment in the ketchup-flavored sun.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

Ha! I FUCKING CALLED IT!

This guy sucks and deserved to be fucked with a dick made out of angry fire ants, but the focus should be on closing the loopholes and making the system more efficient/effective.

I read recently that part of the reason why bugs “scare” a lot of people is because our brains tend to process feelings of revulsion and disgust as feelings fear and horror. Maybe the same concept applies to Crypt Keeper Barbie. Her aura of smug decay sets off our fight or flight response just as much as a hairy…

I really. Really. REALLY. Hate her smug little face. The mooning over Trump - particularly at his victory speech - is just getting over the top and disgusting. I hope he gives her nothing in return for her loyalty and throws her under the proverbial bus as soon as he can.

That drives me insane, the people who yell the loudest about respecting the flag, know the least about what that actually entails, including not wearing that ugly shirt Janet!

I can’t anymore, guys. I just can’t muster up any outrage over it.

I don’t even know if it would be a bad thing for press outlets to be denied credentials. Trump is belligerent and evasive and openly hostile to the press. During the campaign, he tricked reporters in his press pool into airing elaborate commercials for his hotels, and he used them as props as his rallies, siccing his…

I mean why can’t we nip it in the butt before the inauguration. He’s basically doing all this shit in front of our eyes... Can’t we be like NO!

2016 can go to a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Baldwin’s reaction is like that republican lady who got all mad at Ana Navarro for saying pussy on the news when she was quoting Donald Trump - same misdirection, same reduction of the word to the single, most recent instance of it’s use while blatantly ignoring the referenced, and far more significant, use.

Politico has a great piece about just that this morning - namely, among evangelicals, who remains in Trump’s camp, who’s leaving, who was never in, and why. As the election winds on, I’m enjoying these closer looks at voting blocs I’m not a part of that are generally treated as monolithic.

Why do these GOP donors only want their money back NOW? The blatant racism wasn’t enough? I refuse to believe any of them are offended for real. They just don’t want to look bad now that it looks like he’s not going to win.

Tell ya what: Let me plunge your toothbrush into a pile of filth and excrement. Next, you can gently let soapy water cast-off from a good long hand washing over your bristles.

Yea, I mean, you could go for having cops get out of their cars to interact with the community in a peaceful and productive manner- or just to frisk ‘random’ private citizens for no goddamn reason. Why spend the time and effort building trust and cooperation with local communities when you can just bag and tag people…

I think she’s by far the most dangerous Trump, because she acts as the counterweight; she’s beautiful, poised, and is able to maintain a certain level of composure that makes her look like a damn rocket scientist compared to her father and his surrogates. And while most of us here can see behind the green curtain,…

Yes Ivanka, Cosmo readers do and should care about issues impacting women and children (and families of all kinds) which is why they fucking asked you those questions.