Wow those two really got waxed on that one. Couldn't find the landing strip at all.

If this impressed you, you should see the James Harrison football camp for political criminals in North Korea...

Is that Brandon Weeden throwing an interception?

Man, talk about beating a dead horse...

And due to that restriction, there was more defense played in this clip than in the whole All-Star game yesterday

East Germany is still competing?

So that makes it right?

Ray Rice can still hit a hole. Who knew.

Actually he's got to get back to the tree to make some cookies after the show.

And Dennis Rodman quietly gives thanks the only basketball he plays anymore is in NORTH Korea.

There will be plenty of time to live in a van down by the river...

The importance of punctuation:

No slouching breasts, no panties, no uniform in the car. This sounds like my high school dating career, except nothing like it.

Both rumors are false, and they're both true - it's a classic game of "telephone" here that turned one story into two weird rumors. The real story is that Brandon Weeden is being considered for the CEO position, and that Weeden thinks he can trade for Peyton Manning. Of course Weeden thinks he can trade Brandon Weeden…

Ignoring the celebration, can't we all agree that was some really fucking awful soccer?

I thought for a second Chris Berman became a ski jumper. But then I remembered the original Cunty Spunkfuckshitpiss weighs about 350, and got a good laugh.

I hope they weren't looking at videos from Birdman's phone...

You don't need to be clairvoyant to know that Sam will probably get screwed. I don't think he'll be drafted. And if he does get picked up as a street free agent, the team that signs him will have few reservations about cutting, him because he'll have been so thoroughly devalued.

"Because she seems genuinely cool, fun-loving, and well-liked she can't be a total luger like me"

Dude, I'd totally want a gay linebacker on my team. You know he'll always have your back side covered, he will explode into the holes you open, and he'll be willing to work a double team.