Go directly to hell, you absolute nightmare of a person.

The man claims he has been running track since high school, and that he was never cut.

Because it’s so fun to watch delicate snowflakes like you cry so much every time.

The plan is to take them back into custody, and then figure it out.

Dearly begloved, we are gathered today...

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

I went into freshman year of college a startling 6'2" 132lbs. Used to go out drinking and come home and eat an entire XLP from Dominoes by myself in a single sitting. Would sit on the floor, with my double pepperoni pizza and do nothing but eat and breath heavily. The alcohol helped, but I have a hell of an…

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

This is fucking horrible.

I ran it over my wrist to make sure it wouldn’t burn the baby’s mouth

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

And people laughed at me for not dropping him from my fantasy team.

The 1906 Giants see you.

They’re good dogs Brent Musburger.

Your time might come, but it’ll come a couple of hours behind the rest of our time.

This isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted to build another virtual machine.

“But it’s a *dry* indifference”

Your mom seems to think so.

He chose to play videogames for a long time straight, let’s not act like he was a fireman who died saving someone from a burning building

He got his bell rung.