Totally—but there are cis people (mostly gals and gay dudes) who get fetish-bombed because of their race, too. And others who get it by being vaguely geeky (a pal of mine who later became a client got bombarded with enthusiasm about tentacle porn because she listed that she liked Animé.) It's totally not fun, the…

I totally sympathize, Molly—my trans online dating clients get frustrated with OKC and online dating in general; being openly trans is somehow an invitation for really crazy confessionals from some people. But I urge you to reword or remove your disclaimer—as messed up and inappropriate as that line of conversation…

Nice! Congrats! I met my husband on Craigslist, of all places, and now I help people find love online for a living. They're not all laid back dudes of lameness; we can attest to that. :)

Exactly! It's not the site itself that sucks, and it's not even the users as a collective. It's the specific users that you happen to have had unfortunate experiences with.

Haha, you crack me up, Penny. It's totally true that there are zillions of super lame profiles out there; most of us aren't that great at writing about ourselves. But I know for a fact that for every "gross dude" out there, there are tons of decent ones, too—it's just hard to perceive those signals through all the…

Totally. This was a fun little experiment she did, in terms of acting like a jerk and getting positive feedback, but I feel like she's conflating all the results with the results of a chick who posts model photos and says she wants casual sex. These are essentially two different studies—bearing in mind that Cracked is…

I see what you mean—I'm probably kinda small to get whitelisted, at least as of now! :) My former employer did the same thing, and only whitelisted an extremely short list of sites. It was aggravating, since I worked in translation and always needed to look things up! Sometimes one language forum domain is not enough,…

The thing that upsets me the most is how fricking COMMON this is. I often have to explain to my guy clients that, while girls on OkCupid may seem reticent to reply to them, they're being vetted against some seriously bitter jackasses. Guys like this one can ruin the online dating experience for not just the women they…

Aww, boo, but that's not surprising since I talk about stuff they don't want you pondering at work. :)

Hey Megan! I suck; I didn't see this reply until now! The kids thing is your biggest challenge, but it doesn't mean no one would be interested... it just makes it logistically harder and you have to be careful in how you disclose the parent stuff (and of course in introducing your little guys to any new love…

Oh mah gosh, Kinja is the WORST! I never saw this notification until now; sorry! I do indeed; it's http://theheartographer.com and you can dig around for lots of free advice/analysis or just call me up. :)

It's worth noting that in their Verge interview, the OkC guys mentioned that they themselves don't even consider match percentage to be a true metric of fundamental compatibility. It's basically a trick they employ to increase perceived likelihood of getting along at that first date; a mechanism to convince you to…

As Laura aptly put it, there will be a new study out tomorrow that says opposites DO attract. Any study done on part of an online dating company has suspect methodology, you know? But beyond that, there is no one size fits all algorithm for love—take it from an online dating coach. Opposites attracts works for some…

It's my job to help people have a reasonable experience with online dating, and it's clear that isn't what's been happening for you. But there ARE ways you can tweak it so that online dating isn't a horrible cesspool—it's hard to identify without knowing more about you (i.e. seeing you profile, pictures, and messaging…

Megan, it's really hard to answer without knowing more about you. I'm an online dating coach now, and I met my husband on Craigslist in 2006. These days I wind up sending the bulk of my clients to OkCupid. But for some people, Match or eHarmony or Plenty of Fish or even some niche site is going to be a better fit.…

I'm guessing there's not a lot of crossover between Jezebel readers and enthusiastic supporters of this smarmy, ill-conceived app. Good luck with that, buddy!

As an online dating coach, I vouch for most of these tips—but you commenters have some help perspectives and additions. Part of why I don't like writing blanket posts like this is because online dating optimization advice varies so much depending on your demographic (and personality).

Do you have any advice for women who feel overwhelmed by the number of low-quality messages they get? Do you plan to roll out features in your app that would make the onslaught less exhausting?

Ugh, yet another shameless tactic. They have to resort to stuff like this because their own features, such as the red light green light of how selectively you reply, tend to work against them. I wish they'd experiment with stripping down features rather than building in more complexity.

This is why I tell clients (and anyone else who'll listen) to avoid making lists or demands in their profiles. You come off as much crazier than you probably actually are.