I’m old and haven’t needed birth control in a while, but back in the day, I had a cervical cap and LOVED it. It’s a barrier but not a diaphragm; this is a little rubber cap that fits all the way in back, right over the cervix. It effectively blocks sperm from going where there could be an egg. You can put it in…

Forget Bezos. She needs to dump Donnie for Vlad. He’s way better looking and way, way richer. Plus, they have that commie stuff in common.

What really bugs me about her slogan is that it’s not about working hard or studying harder or trying to do your best. It’s just “Be Best.” So if you aren’t already best, you’re screwed.

What I don’t understand is this thing about having to wash everything before it goes in the recycling bin.  I always feel like I am wasting water and putting more soap into the water supply.

Glass bottles are heavy.  What do you do, DRIVE A CAR to get your groceries? Imagine how wasteful and decadent that looks to those of us who live a car-free existence.  

Just because someone is mentally ill doesn’t mean they’re not an asshole, or that you should put up with their abuse. I would keep reminding yourself of this and repeating it to others. And if you talk to your grandma, answer her insults with, “Well, you’ll be dead soon and then it won’t bother you anymore.”

I’m there, too. Stuffed up and sneezing. Two weeks ago I had a weird cold where first I had a headache for two days, then lost energy, then had a cough — but no stuffy head or sneezing. Now I’m getting the symptoms I missed. My husband said I have a “deconstructed cold” and if it was an item at a fancy restaurant,…

The summer before sixth grade, I had a slight case of bursitis in one knee, for which the doctor gave me an ace bandage. It had long healed by the time school started, but I carried that bandage in my book bag and put it on every day before getting to school. It got me out of gym class all of sixth grade.

You’re a cool mom!

I once read about a study where, in front of the subject, someone opened a wrapped, new comb and used it to stir iced tea. More than half of the subjects wouldn’t drink it because just the thought of stirring it with a comb was off-putting.

If you’re in the NYC area, check out listingsproject.com.  You might find that it is a good source for finding the right roommate.

Here are names of cats I’ve had who have passed on and are no longer using them: Noodles, Jupiter and Cous-Cous. All were wonderful pets and worthy of having a boxer namesake.

I hope she has some calcium supplements in that beautiful kitchen. Everytime I see Maggie, I’m stunned by her awful posture. She looks like a “poster old lady” for osteoporosis.

When I was growing up, all the kids at my school ate snow during recess. Also, there were none of those peanut allergy kids. Correlation?

Or this ghost

Step one when you take your seat is to pull the armrests down. That delineates your space. You may wind up fighting over who gets the armrest, but your actual seat space will be preserved.  I’ve shared rows with obese people.  I try to be compassionate, but I also use those armrests.   

Exactly. It will be like The Emperor’s New Clothes, except with an invisible wall.

Please, PLEASE don’t clean your mat with some scented spray that I’m going to have to smell when I’m next to you in class.  If ever there is a place where one should be perfume-free and considerate toward others, it is in yoga class.  

Please, PLEASE don’t clean your mat with some scented spray that I’m going to have to smell when I’m next to you in…

Remember The Rope?  As in, we’re supposed to climb that thing?  

Nothing about the smell? All those stinky kids wearing gym suits that got taken home once a semester to be washed? The locker room full of newly menstruating girls too embarrassed to be seen throwing away their soaked napkins, so they stashed them behind the toilet? Not to mention the junior high school bullies in…