The one good thing Panera has doesn’t even require going into their location. They make frozen bread sold in grocery stores that’s very good. Defrost 1/2 hour, bake ten minutes and you get warm, crusty bread. Plus your whole apartment smells great. Kind of pricey, though.

Or if the spoon has to be plastic, at least go to a party supply store and get fancy plastic.

From my window, I can see Zeckendorf Towers, where Melania lived when she first came here. This was back when she was “modeling.” It’s expensive, and I’d like to know how she paid the rent when she had no legal credentials to work here.

I’ll bet they go with ChiChi.

Paris? Jordan? Or how about the Clintons naming their daughter after a song which was about a hotel which was named after a neighborhood?

I LOVED Lie Detector!

You mean, furniture that dead people sat on? I totally get it.

How about Claire? A beautiful name, and not overused. Or you could get all jokey about it and use the middle name Sage.

How about Claire? A beautiful name, and not overused. Or you could get all jokey about it and use the middle name Sage.

When I need half of a chopped onion, I chop the whole thing and store the excess in the freezer. It’s such a luxury to have already-chopped onion when I need it.

A seven year old girl has never mentioned anything before. Then her mother has a very public, let’s-call-all-the-news-outlets furious reaction to a man who was in her life. Things are so crazy that her mother changes her’s and all of her siblings’ names. The man is no longer around, and she is seeing her mother in…

You cross-stitch of the shark reminded me of comedian Stewart Huff who told of being confused by the saying, “Worse than a shark’s dick in the eye.”

I’ve always been a little skeeved out by water rides. But a bunch of people trapped in one, in the dark, not knowing when they’ll get out? You just know someone really needed to go to the bathroom.

I wonder if Darlene has come out yet?

Corny, but a few candles can really transform a sterile hotel room. A full size bar of nice soap for the shower. Or, use a colorful translucent scarf draped carefully over a lamp and a drop of essential oil on a lightbulb.

Quietly pull out a small notebook in front of her, write the date and time, take notes, maybe ask her calmly to repeat what she said. If she demands to know what you are doing, just say. “I’ve been asked to take notes.” If she asks by whom, just tell her you’re not at liberty to say. Don’t do this with your phone;…

I’ve received ads for “Christian Investing.” WTF? Jesus was broke as shit.

Someone must be trashtalking behind my back. I know this because I keep getting emails offering to make my penis bigger.

Make-up / contact lens thread:

No need to be too hard on Europe. Don’t forget, it was just a rough draft.