Like did you get extra dumbass wheaties in your cereal bowl this morning or something?

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

My cat, who once opened a microwave oven while the popcorn was popping, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once destroyed a floor-to-ceiling lamp with her butt, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once fell off a bookshelf at 3 AM only to land butt-first on my face (catass…

A part of me is touched by the closeness this dad shares with his family. My dad’s upper limit is a frank discussion of his bowel movements. And since i’m his daughter I nod my head seriously and encourage him to eat more fruit.

a forensics report

I’m trans-thin. I may look like a fat fuck on the outside, but inside, you know, the true me?

“Useless fucking paper clip”: best description of a human I’ve ever read. MORE STORIES, LINDSEY.

Part of me really wanted Momager to actually smack Psycho Santa with the pizza pan.

This is particularly interesting because Priapus more or less is his penis in terms of symbolism, so it is odd that he would have a problem with fertility. I think it is possible that the phimosis is more symbolic than anything else.

When I was in college my school had a student exchange program with the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. There were only a few slots and it was very competitive. I applied and didn’t get accepted. You know who did get accepted to St. Andrews that year? Prince William and Kate Middleton. I guess what I’m trying…

I am made unreasonably happy about the shake story. Though I don’t personally work there, there’s a small, local ice cream shop down the road I get coffee at (weird, I know, but it’s cheap and pretty good) and there are just so many entitled kids there whose parents don’t do anything about. TThe worst one of these…

I love IG for this...love it! lol And on a serious note, I love the positive comments people have. I hope it does open up dialogue and helps people put a face to transgender issues and the process of making the transition. Wishful thinking, but one can hope.

NOBODY PUTS CAITLYN IN THE KORNER

Time for the refuse cat.

Is your cat sad because no one could possibly understand what she’s going through? My cat is sad because it’s summertime and living ain’t easy.

My cat wakes me up with the sounds of her profound existential anxiety.

Me too. Slept with one guy with definitely micropeen, it wasn't longer than a chapstick erect, and I couldn't feel it at all in me, but that would have been fine if he'd made any effort to get me off any other way. Or hadn't been just generally a dick as soon as the clothes were off. My current guy is very…