I am going to miss you and your writing so much, Mark.

Just breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. Please tell me it’ll still be on Mondays - BCO always helps me ease into the weeks with some laughs!

I want to make a remark that of course the men of the Night’s Watch would occasionally partake of a dairy based frozen confection treat every now and again, noting that their vows do not require them to abstain from Oreo Blizzards.

“Feisty Pung” the breakout new song from Poot Lovato.

Hotline Blung.

“your mom’s high strung”

Wear a skinny scarf or I may just barf?

I am sending you a HUGE internet hug because that was exhausting to read and I can’t imagine even having the life force in me enough to deal with it all. I’m always amazed by parents and all they do for their littles. I think more credit needs to be given.

That being said, I was having a conversation with my (older)…

Can we stop with the whole “ur doin it to urself” thing please? Sure, there are probably upwards of several hundred couples in Manhattan who are both employed, with young children, who have attempted to craft a Halloween costume out of mason jars and pallets, but that really isn’t life for most of us (admittedly…

I can count on one hand the number of birthday parties I had during my entire childhood, birth to 18. Every kid I know seems to have a party every year. I can’t tell if I’m the weird one or not.

Can we add “too judged”? Because parents that try to let their kids fall down and be more feral and learn from their mistakes get arrested now. Somewhere along the line we made imperfect parenting a crime.

May I offer my “head up my ass” opinion as to why?

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

Can you imagine if an American was assaulted for not speaking Italian in some tiny village in Italy? Or for not speaking French in some petit town in Burgundy? Or for not speaking Japanese in Hokaido? Fox News would use it as justification for nuking the impudent foreign bastards. But no, this type of xenophobia is an…

His instructions to the barber: I’d like a cut that really emphasizes my ears.

same

Elves piss on doors to mark their territory.

It’s because they ordered a Larg-e-soda, and got a Minn-e-soda!!!

Don’t have sex on a plane!