At least Farrah's lips now balance out her boobs.

Dear Jen:

The ex-boyfriend who worked sex like an ADHD jack rabbit who said, 'what, are you just going to lie there?' while hammering away. I looked at the ceiling and thought, 'peach. the ceiling needs to be painted peach' and hung onto the side of the bed.

I needs my gin (Hendricks) and tonic to quoff, and lots of pizza pizza pizza*. My weekend is now officially awesome!!

Oh man, a quart and a half of Half&Half?? Is he washing his beard in it?

US Weekly said she was pregnant last week but she can't be pregnant this week because Bruce Jenner is on the cover.

And he left a towel on the floor!

Dicktastic Dicksplosion?

Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich ...

What, he doesn't want to be a member of the glitterati??!

Hooters?

Cockroaches and lobsters and shrimpy have a carapace of crunchy, chewy, nutritional goodness- consisting of linked units of n-acetyl-glucosamine with a dash of long-chain fatty acids (the good oil). Nom nom nom...

No you don't- it's not big enough!

Cockroaches are tasty when stir fried to crispy and dusted with curry powder. Only problem is that the legs get stick between your teeth. Bummer.

Yeah. Confused me, too. What is the 'meat on the foot' about??

I had a couple of Hendriks and tonic tonight. Just checking the batch quality was up to standard;)

Quooklyn is where Quokkas live!! Here is a Quokka:

Aah... Hendricks, my favorite tipple. Now you're talking!

Throw some cucumber, celery and ginger in a blender and blend to a pleasant greenness, then add gin and simple syrup and squeeze of lime juice. Enjoy merrily, and note that the fiber in the veggies offsets any naughtiness in the booze. Cheers!