“Fuck yeah it does!”

America’s last great vice? What about voting against one’s self interest? That still seems to turn a lot of people on.

GUMBO GUMBO EVERYONE HAD BOUNTIES GUMBO!

Yeah, this guy was a third round pick, the Pats typically wait for the fourth round to take murderers.

Starred purely for the introduction to my lexicon of “brociopath.”

Worked with an asshole like that who would say the most vilest shit about whichever minority group wasn’t present at the time with a “If that makes me a racist then I guess you can call me a racist.” One day he finally said some slick shit about all Spanish people being this and that not knowing that a Puerto Rican…

He looks like an Irish Adam Carolla.

Every preseason would end with me and some other Lions fans talking about how monumentally fucked we were if Moore had to take a single snap. He had the imposing height of Drew Brees combined with the arm strength of a python.

The Cowboys let their QB get sacked so often that I can only assume Jerry made a deal with Nickelodeon

The Cowboys are “America’s Team” in that we have a president who suggested we nuke hurricanes. That is the Cowboys.

A good friend is a Cowboys fan, despite having grown up in the town next to Foxboro. To troll him when he gets talking about “America’s Team”, another friend and I agreed to assign that label to The Nashville Predators and then we just talk about Nashville and Roman Josi, when he brings up the Cowboys. It’s quite…

He looks like Tony Robbins had surgery in an attempt to look more like Casey Affleck.

Orbee Tuff balls by Planet Dog.

Orbee Tuff balls by Planet Dog.

I respect your commitment to big boy accuracy

You have 3 buildings that meet the measurements required to be labeled a skyscraper.  I researched this to make sure of the accuracy, because last time I drove through I thought I saw 4 tall buildings, but only 3 are big boys.  

About 98% of us hate the 2% that booed him. They can fuck off to Philly or something.  But sir, we have AT LEAST...*looks around and counts*...5 tall buildings downtown. We’re not Akron, or something.

The residents of this 3 building having, 4 block fucking town screamed and booed at someone who, until that point, seemed to be one of the least booable people in the entire league. The guy that was set up to be hurt by men who were unqualified to build a team around him. It’s a shame and a relief that it came to this.

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

He saw the hand already in his face and kept fucking walking into it!

The man was the .gif that keeps on .giffing.