I just want to go to the back to the BernSTEIN Bears universe, where Hillary is President and everything is okay. Not great, not stellar, not world changing, still occasionally dispiriting or downright horrible, but at least not openly, antagonistically awful all the goddamn time.

I legitimately believe that if you’re cannot spell “our” or any other three letter word, you have to be sterilized and you cannot vote.  Seriously how the fuck can anyone exist not knowing how to spell that?!?!?

Big Ben is the least likable player in a league that employs Tom Brady. I now have to root for asshole Antonio Brown to have a huge season for Jon Fucking Gruden because the alternative would bring joy to this mongoloid fanbase. If you could Thanos-snap every Steeler fan out of existence, a Republican would never win…

This may have displaced Arnold getting dropkicked as the best Old Man Shrugs Off Your Sucker Punch/Ambush Highlight of the year. Frankly, I did not expect that title to be in dispute.

Honestly the best bar stool sports content I’ve ever seen. 

(Somewhere)

They tried to talk to his brother Daryl, and his other brother Daryl,

I would love to see him narrate the Hindenberg Disaster.

Also I would like to own a hat

Very surprised Drew didn’t mention the 1972 Dolphins in his “what has always sucked” section. Those motherfuckers are the worst kind of Boomers, rooting for the failure of Millennials while spewing that “back in my day” bullshit.  

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

As an English Bears fan, I can confirm two things: 1) we use the word cunt a lot - it means many things and can be everything from a phone greeting to a simple noun replacement 2) the fact that our cultural use of cunt is upsetting to a racist Packers fan fills me with patriotic pride in a time where such fervour is…

Evergreen link.

@RobbieAmell is outside pumping up a football

I look forward to seeing him picked by the Giants in the first round of the 2020 draft.

Sure, Amell might be embarrassed right now but this serves as a first rate audition for my upcoming epic C’mon, Man, I’m Wide Open: The Christian Hackenberg Story.

There’s already talks of several journalists, YouTubers and even some big companies organizing a class action lawsuit. Contact your lawyer and get in on it.

Best summary yet.  Would love to get you started on “franchise tag”...

I’m on that list, and was notified of it as well from some random person the other day. I’m sure the rest of my team was on that list as well. I’m not happy about this, and wondering how such a thing could have been left publicly accessible. I received an email too from the ESA a couple hours ago stating this, but the…

it depends on several things: where you are in your current contract, years of service, accolades like all nba, how many cups of coffee you can drink without murdering someone, how many times you’ve driven the autobahn, if you can parallel park downtown in Seattle, how long you can hold your breath, it’s all right…