3a: Keep setting off the alarm until dude turns the alarm completely off. Steal the car, and park it in long term parking at the airport (the bigger the better).

The actual hamster has far better luck when it comes to careening around in a metal death machine though.

God I love Hammond

I am a believer that all races, sexes, religions, sexual orientations are all equal when it comes to be chastised for minor parking inconveniences. I am sad for you that you have experienced such bitter behavior that your initial reaction to a joke comment was to assume that it was directed towards people of a certain…

People who have a different life than you?  I don’t know, seems odd to comment on what is clearly a joke comment to get upset, while also disclosing that none of the above really even applies to you. 

Listen, if you aren’t feeling what I think I’m feeling, you gotta tell me now, because I can’t get, no..no I WON’T get hurt again. You just tell me, if this is right to you, then buddy; i’ll latch onto you like a baby orangutan on it’s mothers saggy teet as she swings tree to tree looking for bugs to feed me.   

Because if I said they were Portuguese I’d be a liar.

They won’t exist anymore if they’re dead in the trunk. See point 5 regarding this.

You’ll have to catch me first!

fuck you, nerd

4. Pour some oil from a tuna can into the cars air vents.

My grandma had a chinese family down the street that used to park in her handicap spot out front of her house a few times a week. She never would call the police or get the car towed because she didn’t want to cause problems with the neighbors. So my brother and I would go over there in the morning and box their car…

I used to live in an urban area with somewhat limited curb space, and in front of my house was enough space to fit two cars comfortably, but one guy kept parking in the middle everyday. It was juuuust enough so that you couldn’t park on either side of him without blocking someone else’s driveway. I would often think…

Well that escalated quickly

I salute you, Rand Paul’s Neighbor

This goes from benign to excessive very quickly.

Couple of tricks to get someone to move their car when it’s parked outside of your home everyday.

“Go fuck yourself, Second Deck. If I wanted your fucking opinion, I’d fucking reach out for it. Also, suck my balls.”

Be better Tortorella.  Instead of having a historically bad franchise, you’re worrying about a comment a departing player made.  Shows what a small time operation they truly are.

“That’s what pisses me off,” he said. “He doesn’t have enough balls to call me back, because I’ve tried to get in touch with him. You don’t shit on an organization that’s done nothing but try to help you. We all know Jack has had some problems along the way here; it’s very well-chronicled. All we’ve done is try to…