Their chief weapon is surprising themselves.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH DISMISSION

Maybe this will satisfy

What kind of Leave it to Beaver family is this? When I get home my wife is drinking wine and watching the Bachelor, and my kids are texting each other from their adjacent bedrooms.

I love raisins, they’re sweet, they’re healthy, they stick together so I can eat an entire box in one bite, and you get to pretend like you’re mercy killing elderly grapes! In so many ways they are a perfect little snack, but if I take a bite out of what I think is a chocolate chip cookie and realize that it’s…

I can name 20 cities I’d rather visit and live in than Houston. Houston has almost no character considering it’s the 4th largest city. And it will probably get worse as petroleum slides gradually into irrelevance.

Counterpoint: Houston is 627 square miles of strip mall and traffic hell, with the climate and charm of a decidedly sweaty armpit.

I mean other than the complete lack of public transportation, the 300+ days of summer (plus the 100+ days of super-sayan summer), the weekly industrial fire/explosion, and occasional devastating hurricane...it’s ok

*dies from exsanguination by mosquitos and heat stroke*

he does not like Houston as a city.

How dare you omit the most important fact about this man?

Your move, guns-in-schools-politicians. If you’re not willing to blast yourself in the face with your solution, is it even a solution?

On the other hand, if Justify had any interest in looking at a horses ass, he would not have finished first.

I usually have to go to White Castle for my horse beef.

So we can stop pretending to give a shit about horse racing for 10 minutes a year now right?

Pretty sure Nation is just the english translation of Kontinental, comrade.

Oooh, and it’s Wilson going hard into the boards with Trump. Sure looked like boarding but the refs have mysteriously swallowed their whistles.

Our national embarassment has spent the last week and change shit-talking Canada so....maybe?

If Tom Wilson continues his steak of cheap shots, I’m all for the Caps going.

But also playing to the dipshits that will buy this as conclusive proof that he can’t be racist.