For instance, a blowjob plus facial counts as two acts.

11. The Self-Absorbed Asshole who is Completely Unaware of their Surroundings Parent

You should've added an honorary number 11: People who think they're parents because they have pets. Fuck those people.

McNabb is planning to wear a tie to the ceremony, just as soon as someone tells him what that is.

Sex with a woman works for me.

The tuck rule.