As expected, Delanie's aunt and uncle from his dad's side of the family got home safely, albeit at a slower pace.

Tangie: Hey Shaquem, another scholarship letter came in!

So they need someone with experience putting 27 cubs out? Shit, there's dozens of pitchers in the NL Central just a phone call away.

Clearly, the weight requirements were too strict. Just look how irregularly her periods occur.

Who could possibly host this show and successfully marshal a defensive lineman, a gap-toothed idiot, and a famous homosexual athlete?

Trust me, hazing was worse back when it involved anal-log usage.

It was only a matter of time before Rex made a big mess in Bethlehem, he's been saddled with an ornery virgin for the past nine months.

Te'o Statement:

Srsly, who can't tell the diff btw 2 Kings? Just look at em! So obv. 1 guy is in a iron mask. Dumas!

The Scott family is saddened by the news, but they also see the cancer's return as a morbid tribute to Stu's Uncle Bon.

Matt's Diary, 1/10/13 & 1/10/18

They might have taken the video off the official site. But I bet that somewhere out there is an unauthorized stream.

After proving able to handle trash, coke remnants and the rotting husk of an aging fruit, the cleaning crew was immediately hired by the road manager for the Elton John 2013 World Tour.

I've eaten at enough Indian buffets to know that being stuck in Dal-decorated boxers is seriously unpleasant.

Post-Wedding Plans

The Zaun also Apprizes

While Clarett was open about most details from his past - late-night marijuana smoking, being some type of gangster - his teammates still never found out what "Pompatus" means.

Such is the pent up anger of men excluded from a society which so greatly celebrates the ability to rest your feet on things that aren't chairs.

Hey lady, that kind of behavior may go over in towns like Fankenstein, but NOT HERE.

By this point in the season, Sanchez is pretty used to people offering him unwanted Good News.