Don’t forget:

Let’s stop talking about this jack o’lantern that’s still on your fucking front porch on Easter and start talking about this:

I think Trump also said Heidi was ugly or fat or both. Because he’s a fucking trollmonster. What “Texan Man” stands for that kind of shit? Rafael, that’s who.

I haven’t seen one in Austin. At all. We’re awash in Beto. But “Cali hippies gonna Cali.”

He doesn’t even have to show up down here - or respond to his constituents. Meanwhile Beto has been on the road for 18  months in every city, town and backwater in this fucking state. Maddening.

I feel like we are SO CLOSE. It’s killing me. 

I CANNOT WAIT to #votebeto in November. But I’m a tofu-eating Austinite, wtf do I know?

She’s proof he fucks his coworkers. Next.

I know I live in that hippie communist bastion of Austin - but it’s nothing but Beto signs. For over a year. THRILLED that he has picked up such momentum. He has been visiting every city, village and backwater for 18 months - out on the road. Where the fuck has booger eater been? Oh, up Trump’s substantial orange ass.…

Bitcohen

“carrying their jizz to term”

I would go if I was 36 weeks pregnant myself. Never miss a chance. Fenway would be a great trip. #GenX

As long as his Presidential briefings don’t include him reading from Thurber.

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Thank you! I read that Times article this AM and that part really tripped me up. They glossed right over it.

He’s not tough enough to be in the mob, so he’s just mob-adjacent, like fucking Trump.

This Broidy thing is my favorite so far: abortion, hush money, fraud. Good times:

Criss Chros for the win!

You know what calms me right down? When my husband raw dogs porn actresses before and after I give birth. But pee pee tapes? GRRRRR.

THIS