You forgot freak show contests where the freaks sing and/or dance.

Lucky you. Since I don't live in a major city, I don't get FiOS. When I switched from DSL to RoadRunner, I told the guy at Verizon to let me know when FiOS is available, and I'd sign up for the whole enchilada. Until then, I need faster internet, and that, unfortunately, means cable.

Seriously. There's nothing but garbage on Twitter. I've never seen the point.

Actually, the primary (basic) channels put up far worse drivel then the broadcast networks. Think about the garbage that's on the commercials during Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and think of the mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging Epsilons who buy that shit, and then think about what kind of TV show they would watch. …

You can get Spock ears, for reals?

Didn't say that. I'm saying if you go out, go out with a bang.

Good point - make sure you get a real job when you join the Army or whichever. Helpful hint - human resources (or any other office job they might offer) is not a real job; that'll get you maybe $30K/yr. when you get out, assuming you rise to the top of the stack of people with business B.A.'s.

No way, Jose. Turbo or not, I have bad memories of the Ford 2.3 liter, and I wouldn't have another one if someone paid me to drive it. The fact that it's in a completely ratted-out old Bug does nothing to change my mind on this.

So then you have live, but weakened malaria parasites in your body, presumably forever. What if you have children? Are these parasites communicable?

Too true. While the current administration seems reluctant to get started with any more unnecessary wars and such, the next administration may not be so committed to the idea. If we're really unfortunate, we might end up with another of Poppy Bush's offspring, and you know what happens after that - (1) a banking…

I couldn't care less if Facebook has to clean up my unread crap. If I leave FB, I leave FB, and I'll probably super-quit FB on my way out. I think fading out like that is kind of passive-aggressive, and far too time-consuming. Better to post one last news item to anyone on your friend list who still gives a shit,…

They skipped Ocelot, didn't they? I guess after going straight to Lion and Mountain Lion, naming the next iteration for a kitty maybe 50% or so larger than a housecat (but 500% more badass) would have been a letdown.

(rim shot) LOL

No, environmentalist hippie types like bikes. They like to judge people who don't ride bikes, even if they live in places where bikes are nearly useless, like Upstate NY, as if everybody lives in a bike-friendly city like San Diego or wherever.

Gather around folks, because I'm about to spill the secret of making an Egg McMuffin.

The CO2 is suspended in the water. That's how carbonation works.

Do contractors usually get benefits, or are they expected to fend for themselves? Making "good" money isn't as useful when you have to give a big portion of it back for individual health insurance (for example), which I heard isn't cheap.

"in the last 20 years" being the operative phrase here. 20 years ago was 1993, and any warm body who could add two and two could get a job somewhere in IT in 1993. Try that with the same resume today, my friend, and see how far you get.

You're still sticking with the idea that Zuck is better than you or I. No he isn't. He hit the Internet lottery, just like Markos Moulitsas did for the "netroots." I like Kos a lot, but his main claim to fame, other than getting there (almost) first is being a good writer. There are a lot of good writers, and I…

I knew quite a few commissioned officers who went to West Point and majored in some kind of history. They cling to their jobs in the Army, knowing their degrees aren't worth much outside the gate. I even had one captain admit as much once.