Pele is the best Brazilian of all time, but you won't see his fat ass lumbering up the pitch. Donovan is the best player of all-time for the USA, but to suggest it is a mistake to leave him off this year is pretty bold. He's out of shape, by his own admission. Like me, he doesn't score much anymore. And he's always…

How many of those goals we're from penalty kicks though? As Donovan was the pk taker he obviously had more opportunities to score. Rating a player based solely on goals is moronic.

So Klinsmann went with the fact that no Donovan meant the offense had punch while the midfield retained shape and could provide actual distribution around the field?

FIFA doesn't even require players to be from the country they represent, much less coaches.

I knew people like you existed, but it's fun to experience it first-hand.

I didn't want to come off like a dick. But Adu comparisons will never really make sense. That was a super weird case at a time of crazy helium in a poorly run US system.

That's funny

Green is 19yo in a week. He's already made his full team debut for one of the best clubs in the world. Pep loves him. He is a star in the making. Starting XI at Bayern is an insane standard to hold him to. Adu comparison doesn't make sense at all.

"oh hey... didn't see you over there watching me, watching you..."

Which one is Beckham?

They grew him in a vat from a headband Alexi Lalas and Cobi Jones shared.

Well, when you're dealing with blue balls, you can pretty much always expect the release to be especially epic.

Anyone lose part of an ear? No? Nothing to see here.

Fernández told reporters that he felt a "pinch" in his elbow during his May 4 start against the Dodgers, but didn't say anything to his coaches, because he figured it was notoriously uncoordinated owner Jeffrey Loria trying to snatch his per diem from his back pocket.

Well, he's right about one thing:

Price: [loads Deadspin.com]

I suppose it's better than rival South Carolina fans painting their dog like a cock

I just don't understand why you'd go through all that trouble of painting the dog when you have the perfect representation of Clemson athletics in the garbage can.

Martha has made more baskets than all these dudes combined.