I'll admit, I am confused as shit by a headline about a Nelson and passing out that doesn't involve at least 20 empty Bud Light bottles.

Anyone hear Steve Spurrier talking about point spreads after SC beat Bama this weekend?

My money says the pics are all of an ashy-gray rollback and Favre was just passing off some old footage of Roethlisberger's unit.

@Lionel Osbourne: "Opulence: I has it."

Pinellas Park in the house!

This is all a farce. The way Favre makes decisions, there's no way he even has a penis.

Ohhhhh this is some sweet smut. I'm all boned up over here.

I got a little camp dick just reading this.

@ScientificMapp: OH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND EITHER?

Versus Jerramy Stevens, who attacked his new "girlfriend" in the bushes

No jokes to be made here, but Maher has to absolutely love this guy.

If this guy read Deadspin, he would be aware of how Norelco could really help him avoid embarrassing situations like these.

Maybe she's Miss Santa Fe Community College, but she doesn't have 1/4 enough arm fat to pass as a UF chick.

With that illustration, it had to be a tipster writing in. Certainly couldn't have been a shaft-ster.

Every cringe-inspiring article he's written thus far is like a trifecta of shame:

Ramsay, Gordon:

@OnBiasPercentage: Driving While Intoxicated is bad, but don't take my word for it!

@Arthur_Digby_Sellers: back to your iron lung, Sellers.

@Nine Bill Muellers: Whew, glad I read before I posted. I agree, there's only one man who should buy this jersey.

@girlwonder: Holy hell! A regular jezzie that brought me to laughter on this post!