Fuzzy Zoeller's still sitting all of you together at the buffet.

He'll be making tooth jokes soon enough. And then the metamorphasis will be complete.

I thought it was spelled Baal. Either way, glad to see that Schefter's a well rounded young man.

@TheCatInTheHat: No shit. He's on the Rick Reilly Expressway to trite bullshit and sthick. Maybe this will con a few decent colums from the SG.

@Phintastic: Sign up for the rim job, stay for the facial?

@AzureTexan: I'm still waiting for that fucker to bring back my Fry Daddy, so don't hold your breath.

Fucking nonsense. I saw a picture of Mays 4 years before this picture...his noggin was the size of a peanut.

@UweBollocks: I believe you meant "distention"

@Prick Top: Fine. More cheap PBR Tall Cans for me and my brahs.

@Beer-Fart: She's already 20? That's so much less hot than when I thought she was, uh, shall we say younger than the oldest Chinese female gymnast?

@SousChefGerard: That was actually Tony Gwynn calling in.

@Karlifornia: I'd have gone right for its knuckle if I were her.

Leitch has a twitter? Aren't those things limited to 120 characters per post?

Quite a pastoral about a team whose fans don't care enough to attend more than 4 innings a night.

@DirkToberFest: That's Vietnam Tom, to you, you Kraut loving shit-stabber.

Hope Jamere looks clean in Maryland or Auburn fits, because when Phil Knight defriends you, that shit is for real.

@sharknut: Glad the recession hasn't forced your mother to cancel her internet access. It would probably be lonely in the basement without it.

@norbizness: The town of Hattiesburg ain't big enough for the both of us, friend.

Just when we thought NBC's coverage of the Olympics couldn't get any worse, they do this....and totally redeem themselves.

@Steve U: When I first head Donte killed a man and had been suspended. A friend asked if he would play again, and I said "nevermore"