There are a lot of Jesuses in Miami, and Ted Ginn is not one of them. #tedginn

@OchentaYcinco: I hear Andy Rooney is looking for a writer....Please, go liven up his gig for us. #billsimmons

Bah humbug to all that personal change.

Horatio Alger think's Outliers is a pile of shit and Gladwell is a turd.

@crazyjoedavola: The fuck he's not. He parked outside with an antique locomotive and some rigged up box cars and is offering a free week's vacation at a time share in Boca Raton for anyone who comes and listens to his investment advice.

I'm pretty sure they both spent the late hours of last night singing "Somewhere Out There" into the moonlight.

AJ & Crew:

Pack it up, Deadspin. Blogs are no longer very NOW. #espn

@EsotericPopCulturePun:

@EsotericPopCulturePun:

@EsotericPopCulturePun: That's just supply and demand.

@EsotericPopCulturePun: Oh hell. You're right. That is stuff that only the Yankees do. #newyorkyankees

@disproportionate response: Any comparison on ticket sales? #newyorkyankees

@friendslikeJimRome: Yeah, that way the Steinbrenners can pocket and extra $200 Million a year in profit instead of spending it all on payroll. #newyorkyankees

@lecoqsportif: Woah, woah, woah. Now its ok for hippies to like sports? Does that mean I can quit hiding? #searchingforenriquewilson

Canard About African Runners?

Not American enough? That's the guy that tries to wash my windows every time I'm stuck at a light downtown.

He hates gays because their porn is always getting him to masturbate in a dark room while his Depeche Mode albums play.

@VicViper: When Manu flips, Stern will have to call Ron Ron and ask him to kill the best with a table leg to the heart. #manuginobili

Once I got caught sticking my thing where it didn't belong on an Armadillo. Let me tell you, rabies treatment is a fuckin walk in the park compared to the hoops you jump through once you "may have contracted leprosy." #manuginobili