#13's theme is the only reason Laveraneus Coles has sold a jersey since 2005. #halloween

The Board of Directors sounds like some real big shots to be running a tin foil helmet squadron like this.

So, uh, which dude is Aroldis and how does he have "fans" already? #mlb

@SteveJeltzFan: I miss the evening news too, but that was a fucking E5 if there has ever been one. #umpires

Last time a DP was miscalled this badly, my buddy and I ended up dropping off some Puerto Rican hooker at the doors of the ER with $50 pinned to the collar of her Mi Orgullo t-shirt. #umpires

Guess who's serving them.....GRIESE!!!!.....and its his new job!!!!! #bobgriese

I'm sure he needs the bluetooth headset. #philadelphiaphillies

Its about goddamn time that a Culverhouse did anything to benefit an NFL player. #nfldementia

So we're supposed to listen to a bunch of brain damaged guys and a Gay?

@Lionel Osbourne: Or at least take off your skates... #nakedpeople

If weed was a real drug, he would have pawned that medal long ago. #canada

@Phintastic: If Gawker loses, it lends credibility to Blogs as legitimate and believable news sources. We'll call that the Bissinger Paradox, I guess.

@DumpsterDining: Those horndogs in Mayberry are an incorrigable lot. They deserve their own dossier. #science

Treatment? Hopefully for his vision. #stevephillips

Oh the discovery ESPN will have to produce! #seansalisbury

@Deadliest Crotch: Had to have been the most expensive, and after a review of the photographic evidence, I gotta think he over paid. #stevephillips

Maybe if she weren't so hideous he could represent ESPN and not be a total fucking embarrassment.

LACEY YOU HAVE NO INTEGRITY. How DARE you confirm AJ's rumors and make him look like less of a muckraker and more of a journalist. #mediameltdowns

First it was Channing Crowder touching Chris Leak's balls. then it was Tony Joiner going for Tim's Teabag....someone let Crowder know that behavior only goes on in Gainesville, not the NFL. #channingcrowder

SHORTEN YOUR FUCKING SWING, NICK SWISHER!