@DirkToberFest: I guess. Only saw them through squiggles on the high channels. Fucking cheap ass cable package.

"So as of now, the fastest woman in Wisconsin is a 42-year-old mother of four. Until she's disqualified for, I don't know, breast feeding or something."

Yes, and Barry Bonds' Maple Bats made all the difference.

@PolishMafia: Awesome. I really thought you were a dildo for a minute.

@PolishMafia: If that was my situation, I might refer to my son developmentally delayed, or challenged, or handicapped, if I really didn't like the word retarded.

Vishante Shiancoe, also a proponent of the Second Amendment.

@Brett Benedict: Ok buddy, we got it. You're part Clydesdale. Now let the rest of live our lives.

This photo should kill any remaining uncertainty that Groundskeeper Karl on the right would DEFINITELY get hammered and pass out at a red light.

@Return of DaOtter: Pistols at Dawn it is, then.

@Hot Carl Monday: The worst part is, he calls them "intangibles" but you know he touched.

The MNF Broadcast last night was a horror show. It ended with Jaws, Tirico, and Gruden sitting shirtless in the booth giving backrubs and telling stories about going camping with Brett Favre and Jared Allen.

"Why are you all white?"

In related news, [ESPNFavre.com] is scheduled to launch 15 minutes before I'm found hanging from the AC duct in my office.

Me hope this get me tryout wrif Lions. Me a looker and a choker, true, but Rick also tackleish and hard hitting to knock off pants.

@Silent Q: The Dread Pirate Bob doesn't exactly strike fear in the hearts of men, though, does it?

@Steve U: We need a Deadspin MENTALIST!-sign, a la Comissioner Gordon's Batman gimmick.

Masturbating obsesively has helped me survive a serious of failed relationships.

@TimCouchFanatic: He also called Tony Romo a winner. So you know, at least he's a firey Little Fucking Idiot

Passing on a torn shoulder somthing is not as painful as relying on Ted Ginn Jr. to catch a late TD pass.

Elijah Dukes' balls are underneath a 17 year old girl on his grandmother's couch.