"More importantly, do people in Portland care about this? I thought they only cared about artisinal gluten-free tacos and the properties of papYAY mache."

Inconsolable, but happy to settle for Anderson Cooper.

She is a bendy pretzel bobcat

The Scientology center in San Francisco is this gorgeous old building in a fun neighborhood. Why can't it just be a restaurant or a library? It makes me legit sad.

Isn't it cute when you see them babysitting?

Forget TMZ, I wanna hear Kevin Smith talk about the time he got drunk/stoned with Holmes and Remini, and they told him all the crazy scientology stuff we've ever wanted to know about! I wanna hear the ultimate looney cruise stories from the bloke who brought us the insanity of jon peters, the lunacy of prince and the…

I don't get it. Miley's no longer a minor, so why should her dad go on TV and do her explaining for her? Let her explain herself, we know for a fact she has a tongue.

You should have seen his thoughts on the merits of a united European commonwealth?

Girlpilez #BadStripClubNames

The fuck is this world coming to when The Weasel is the voice of social conscience.

I know Piers Morgan is the worst, but I actually thought that was hilarious and appreciated how, instead of making fun of a young woman in order to be part of the conversation, he went an made fun of himself. That was nice, right?

Also, didn't stop her from doing her own reality show on VH1.

Same general idiocy applies right?

Look, Two and a half Men sucks. Like, sucks a lot. But Chuck Lorre created Grace Under Fire, and wrote for Roseanne. I don't love Mike and Molly or The Big Bang Theory, but I love Melissa McCarthy, Mayam Bialik, and Melissa Rauch, and I get to see them on shows he's responsible for. I wonder if he has two…

Oh Miley SIGHrus

I used to buy brownie mix just to eat the batter. Then I would bake them halfway so they were still kind of soupy and take them to work and no one would eat them.