I'm not Amy, but please just move on from this guy. Stop calling, stop messaging him, for the love of god don't show up to his shows. He broke up with you, appears to hate you, and won't speak to you. He is telling you loud and clear he does not want to be with you. What "small signs of hope" could you possibly be…

HOLY SHIT. Amy I love your show. I watch it by myself and then I make my husband rewatch it with me while I stare at him for reaction shots and laugh obnoxiously.

My question is thus: Did that focus group sketch happen to you in real life, and if so can you please share a few of the real comments?

This is absolutely the best way to avoid your manfriend or male relative effing up your house all to hell. I am the master toilet fixer, painter, wall-hole repairer etc in my home. My husband lacks finesse and is super clumsy (which is how the hole got there in the first place.)

I've had a Milky Way and it is similar but Mars tastes better.

Have you tried the new Dairy Milk cookie dough one? I was prepared to hate but that shiz is delicious.

At first I was like "NO MR. BIG IS STRAIGHT FROM HELL" and then I realized I was thinking of Eatmore. Do Americans have Eatmore? I'm pretty sure that chocolate bar could be weaponized.

You need to let me write a guest post called "All Your Chocolate Bars Are Disgusting, America: Superior Canadian Chocolate Bars Ranked".

You don't have Oh Henry? Man, that is everything wrong with America right there. I knew Coffee Crisp was Canada-specific (and also disgusting, no loss there), but not having Oh Henry should be a federal crime.

I am so disconnected from any drug scene my first thought upon reading this headline was "Bud? Like Budweiser? That sounds stupid." So you're not alone.

He described her as a "beautiful vase" which he "invested in" and is now "broken". Sound like some pretty intense entitlement, plus he literally reduced her to an object which rightfully belongs to him (and when it doesn't it's broken and ruined).

Oooh, that's a great line, I'm going to steal that for next time.

"Smile!"
"YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!"

Sounds like a B.

Relevant.

On OnePageaDay I spent a page one day writing down all the times I've been sexually harassed at work by managers, customers, coworkers etc and it was frankly depressing. Hope the girl in your story finds another job soon!

Well, based on my experience they're not wrong, exactly. It gets less extreme and more side-eye as you get older. Yaaaaay?

Yeah, I was wearing flats the other day outside in the barren, beaten-down snow and I literally told my friend "I've decided it's spring and that's how I'm living my life now." Denial for the win.

Canadians go through this every year. We might have gotten 20cm of snow in the last week of March but I'm going to wear a fucking peacoat and a skirt, dammit! Like on some level fine, it is warmer than it has been, but eventually you just snap.

I wouldn't know because I don't cut off man bits. That's my campaign platform for 2016, I don't have any other promises.

I'm not sure "I'm going to cut off some dicks!" is a great campaign strategy for a lady candidate.

I feel like Hendrick's drinkers really bond over having that be "their drink". I was once pretty sure a bartender was going to propose to me because he got so damn excited when I ordered it.