Wouldn't it just be amazing if one of them was like, "I'm super into math and science. I totally want to be an environmental engineer"?

CAPTION: "THIS IS WHAT VANITY LOOKS LIKE. Oh, and Joan Rivers is here too."

"Did someone say baby pwostitute?!"

It has been so hard to watch him crash and burn.

Basically Thicke is setting Williams up to take the plagiarism fall for him. Even more of an asshole than previously imagined.

i wanted a cucumber sandwich yesterday and my mom had eaten the rest of the cucumber. this comment is super insensitive to my PLIGHT!!!!

"You should feel my heartbeat!"

I know this is a cliche, but … I actually will be in my bunk. :p

Accepted. But why don't they have meeting minutes? It's a company with what's probably a plurality of lawyers at the executive level, and they don't keep a record of anything?

The real crime here, in addition to Ray Rice coldly and calmly knocking out his fiancee, is that domestic violence has become such an ordinary occurrence in the NFL that the league and the teams and the fans just don't make as big a deal of it as they should.

In his tenure, Goodell has enacted numerous ploys straight out of the handbook of a petty dictator: absolute, unquestionable authority; radical change because he knows what's best for everyone involved; the insistence on his whims being treated as divine mandates.

"Good GOD, Raymond, what happened in that elevator?!"

There is really only one suspendable offense in the NFL: embarrassing The League.

You'd have to admit, before you saw the elevator tape you thought a 4-6 game suspension was appropriate.

Goodell is a mendacious tool who's undoubtedly going to to get canned or can himself in the near future. But Ray Rice is unlucky. I say that not to defend his conduct in any way; slugging your wife/girlfriend is categorically reprehensible and his indefinite suspension is well deserved. The fault in his stars (or…

Patrick Stewart is the type of dude you wish was your dad - even if you have an awesome dad.

To paraphrase Donna on Parks and Rec: "Everyone in The Avengers can get it!"

I dated an actor guy who's previous girlfriend left him for Patrick Stewart. 40 year age difference. We weren't allowed to watch Patrick's films - which was surprisingly limiting - because it still bothered him so much. Any time he'd mention it, in terms of his fears of being cheated on, I would have to put on my best…

Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.

What, no Jason Mamoa??