Bill, we already asked you to come work for us, you don't need to try and impress us in the comments.

Philadelphia 76ers' players, ranked

Ronald Roberts sounds like the name of a character that Dave Chappelle would do in white face.

Jesus: [Looks at roster]

In light of the beef with Young, Snoop added some security measures to his house, namely, a large white line 23' 9" away from the front door.

Two low-arced threes goin craaazy

Shots fired!

Nick Young shoots ... ain't nuthin' but a rim clang baby.

D.R.E.A.M. !!!

In Buffalo, they don't even bat an eye at shit Bills.

Waitress 1: You look pissed. Bad tip?

Had he called WFAN, Francesa may have slept through the whole ordeal.

Here's to hoping the perpetrator spends a first time, long time in jail.

By far, the worst part of this story is that we can't tell Will to not quit his day job.

will. I. am. having. my. wallet. taken.

- Randle: Listen, rookie. I need you to help me out on this. I need to grab a few things at the store, but I forgot my wallet at the stadium. Here's what you're gonna do, rookie: stand at the front of the store, wave your arms, make a commotion - just make sure the security guard doesn't notice while I grab what I…

"Your honor, I am here representing Mr. Randle on these charges."

He's just preparing for December when the whole roster collectively shits its pants.

If you don't stop it in high school, the whole balls to the face mentality eventually gets out of hand.