Good thing they took down Rihanna though.

I grew up thinking "second thanksgiving" was a thing for the same reason.

Haha, what did you feel bad about? I felt bad too for my own reasons. Did you go through with it?

I feel a little bad now, but I was drunk and laughed at it.

When my best friend was a kid, her family had a big party for the 4th of July. The next day, since there was so much food leftover, her parents let her have cake for breakfast. When she asked why, they said it was a 5th of July tradition to have cake for breakfast.

Big bags of sand...

haha! Telling your husband that your back hurts (you are pregnant in this scenario) and that you really need to lie down but really you're just sick of hanging out with his ridiculous family.

Sorry if this is a bit disjointed, I'm attempting to post from my phone.

In 8th grade I took art. I would have preferred band, but my parent's were too cheap for that. We got a new teacher, midway through the year, allegedly because the previous teacher went on stress leave. The new teacher, a woman in her 30's, really wanted to be the 'cool' teacher. I once saw her give cigarettes to a…

So I was working at a video game company and part of my duties was to write "barks" - the short one liner random things people say in the background.

When I was about 15 years old everyone in my group of girl friends had touched a penis but me, which made me feel like quite the loser. So during a family vacay to NYC I decided to come up with an elaborate story about how I had given a guy named Jon a hand job in my hotel room as my parents slept nearby. The story…

It sounds like your coworker is that Kristen Wiig character.

I told people I was Jewish. Why you ask? Because I have a Jewish sounding last name and apparently look Jewish(?). I got really tired of explaining that I wasn't and people didn't believe me anyways. I have a Star of David Christmas ornament that my fifth grade teacher had me make during December crafts as a…

I attended a snooty private school in the south when I was in the 7th grade. I was new and relentlessly bullied for a variety of shitty things and I was pretty miserable most of the time. Pretty early in the year, some piece of shit kid was making fun of me for being pale and scrawny (which I thought about later -…

Well, duh...the obvious answer to the Sherrif's question was "..because Jerry was carrying me..."

This was actually a lie that I told. When I was four, my aunt got a divorce. My family and I visited Minnesota to visit her, and she took us for a ride in her new speed boat. It was the best thing that had ever happened to my landlocked, Iowan self.

I met a guy told me his hobby was ultra marathons, which are 100 mile plus races over 5 days. He was telling me about the races he'd done in the sahara and how he fell into an anaconda pit during a race in the amazon. I thought he was a pathological liar at first, so I googled him, cause if you do that shit, you must…

When I was a prosecuting attorney, the Sheriff found a truck that had gone off the road and into a snowbank. It was stuck. He followed the shoe racks in the snow a few hundred feet and found an extremely intoxicated guy walking toward town, who was promptly arrested for drunk driving.

Once, my best friend contacted me to come help her get of a terrible pseudo-date she was on. The person wouldn't stop badgering her about going on a date (even though my friend was in a long term relationship) and so my friend gave in. I drove from over an hour away because I was at a work party. I show up in the…

I convinced a friend when we were both about 18 that she wouldn't be able to go into the Virgin Megastore on her trip to Paris because they have a scanner and they can tell if you've had sex or not. She got really upset and said, "but I am going there with my dad!!!". Muahahahahaha!