I know, right?! I'm sad this computer I'm on doesn't have photoshop - now I want to put some on him.

Color correction really isn't that big of a deal.

Let he who hasn't used an Instagram filter cast the first stone.

"You just bought the 1,776th frappacino of the day which means according to the laws of the land, you are now PRESIDENT! Get excited!"

Want to see sexism in action? Look no further than the comments here saying that they dislike Clinton "positioning" herself to become president. Because of course, every single American president was picked out of a random Starbucks and pushed into politics fresh and clean and not at all "positioned" for a career in…

WAIT. GOOP IS ACTUALLY A THING? I thought it was just a funny name we called her...

Seriously. Did you see that part starting around 20 seconds where she quietly entertains herself with a toy in the background? Christ, that kid is worse than Pol Pot.

> *wipes FHC dust off fingers*

At least you definitely ought to do that before you start masturbating.

Why is he in the kitchen? What kind of outlets are those? What is the laptop on? A kitchen island? A school desk? If a school desk, why is it in the kitchen? So many questions.

It really bothers me how people swoon over him saying the same love-the-sinner-hate-the-sin* that stuff. It's not new or progressive.

I'd call mine "The Masturbatorium" and outfit it like a Roman bathhouse. We'd discuss the great issues of the day...and jerk off. Not necessarily in that order.

We know. Trust us, we know.

Yeah, but it's too late for my dad to bail on me and I've been trying masturbation for years to no avail.

"Somehow" turn yourself gay?! There are literally hundreds of ways, according to this nun! All wonderful.

You guys, this is just common sense. Like, if you're a guy, then you have a penis. And if you masturbate, then you're touching your penis. Which makes you a guy touching a penis. Which makes you gay.

My takeaway here is that if I can somehow turn myself gay I'm guaranteed to have approximately 500 or 1000 sex partners in my life.

b4-4 were from my hometown and they weren't triplets - guy in the middle wasn't related. The other Canadian boy band DID have triplets and their own Bonus Jonas. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Moffats.

This would be a good time to examine the effects of genetics on penis length.

2gether!

but twincest sounds like wincest which is already a thing.