Things....fly through them, and things land on your head.

All aboard the nope train.

Interviewer: Now that you are retired, are you concerned about CTE?

“Fine, Chip. We’ll make sure it’s a White Christmas.”

White(s only) Christmas.

That’s actually what took down the Kursk. A Soviet era practice torpedo that caught fire and detonated the rest of the torpedo room.

Given your posting history, the most believable part of your story is your fine tuned expertise at judging male physique during group showers.

He’ll reportedly be replaced on a interim basis by assistant coach J.B. Bickerstaff.

I guess Aqib Talib can join Peyton Manning and Jason Pierre Paul on the list of athletes who have no idea what the ends of their fingers are doing.

The sex stuff this new generation is doing is out of control. Eye play?! That’s dangerous. Someone could go blind. In my day, the only kinky thing we did was watch The Mary Tyler Moore Show while making whoopie on the sofa. If you looked at the screen at the wrong time, sure, you’d climax to Ed Asner, but the worst…

“He acted like he got in an 18-passenger car wreck.”

Seriously, who still does that? This is precisely why I declined his Facebook friend request.

Sick of hearing professional athletes brag about their extravagant lifestyles and 18-passenger cars.

To be fair, you can’t hurry Love. No, you just have to wait.

(Usually when a Green has to be restrained and hospitalized in Miami, it’s because of a stampede at the 4:30 PM Early Bird kosher buffet)

Also not a good look. Shitting all over someone else’s joke that was understood to be a joke by everyone but you.

Every time I think Simmons can’t be more of a douche, he proves me wrong. Every damned time.

Cool, I did not know that.

Done. Precision guided munitions, ISR platform and light CAS in a single affordable plane.

You spelled Europeans wrong.