Hey, I live just north of this in Vancouver, and let me tell you, these Stanley multitools are great. They've got everything but a Cup.

The would-be stabber told the cops he was merely escorting his fellow Seahawks fan back to C section.

This girl seems like a pretty unbelievable catch.

Shouldn't this article be cross-posted on Deadspin? I mean, look at these deflated balls!

No one. No one wears any of this ridiculous high fashion bullshit.

We're doing theme parks based on giant, human-eating monsters now? We're doing that? Wow.

I live in hope that we'll soon see a Hellraiser theme park. The commercial writes itself. WE HAVE SUCH SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU!

If everyone kept asking me about my ex-husband ten years later, I'd lose my shit.

Found it, via a cached copy on this forum.

You know perfectly well how they will apply to porn.

Probably the most devastating use of the belt since Adrian Peterson.

After Rob Bironas, I figured kickers would avoid doing belts of any kind.

The parody element of this joke has not succeeded.

It's okayee!! Illitterassy is nuthing too bee ashamd of!

And this is the picture you chose?

It looks like an infomercial, all it needs is explosions.

Tombstall

"Well, I dunno," Williams says, innocently. "You have a crazy-ass job, sir."