Kendra and Ricky were reportedly only given a two game suspension by the NFL.

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Goodell.

Well, this is Baltimore we're talking about. So, no, probably won't hurt their brand, one little bit.

Damning evidence like a murdered guy's blood in your limo?

"Er, uh, well... eh, in light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action." — Mayor Quimby

Baltimore has a serious Rays problem.

If you're conflicted about actually having a moment of good will towards the Ravens, don't worry - their most beloved player in team history did still kill two people.

"And joining us now is our newest member of the First Take family, we welcome Ray Rice to his permanent home at the debate desk"

That loud sound you hear isn't the sound of applause for this move , it's the sound of the Ravens' collective hamstrings snapping from all that backpedaling.

I won't believe that the Ravens have released Rice until I see a Peter King report that they have promoted him to head coach and given him a 10-year extension.

OH SHIT IT'S ME.

Fine.

"I'm ABSOLUTELY not condoning domestic abuse...." but here's some reasons why it's your fault....

you must be a kelly rowland fan

Hopefully 17 trillion. Beyonce is fucking terrible.

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

I don't get it

So... they're sad because Vick doesn't have a dog in this fight?

Why didn't you capitalize the W and A? Show some respect, jeez.

As a resident of the great state of South Carolina—epicenter of the War of Northern Aggression—I must point out that Mr. Montgomery broke the first law of SC automobiling: minorities, especially imposing and colossal ones, have no place talking to police officers, especially dimwitted and…