Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

I don't get it

Which direction?

So... they're sad because Vick doesn't have a dog in this fight?

This is really touching. She'll be shooting significant others through bathroom doors in no time.

"...can you believe this guy? I mean seriously, what a lazy, lethargic asshole..."

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THE DRIBBLE!

I think he was on 7th Heaven. I blame 7th Heaven.

"He was reportedly in possession of "a pizza and a small amount of cash.""

He all like - who let big ass giant play?

If Tetris Were Made Out of Pillows by Dr. Seuss

As have I. But alas, once a year the entire family joins together in the same room for 2 hours. You have to sacrifice the few to save the many, or some fucking thing like that.

She definitely wouldn't say "black."

Sadly, I've actually attended a few of those family Thanksgivings. The dinners always started with prayer, then quickly morphed into your quote, then ended with me being called a dumbass-bleeding-heart-liberal-feminist-socialist-loving-lesbian (I've been married to my husband for 13 years). It was painful for awhile…

LOL! That's what I was thinking, actually. Oh, she's just a lovely peach.

I giggled.

Son, Did I just see you... JAYWALK? IN MY TOWN?

I was a little new wave/punk rock girl when that came out (goth wasn't a term yet) and I was compared to Lydia endlessly. I did not mind! That movie was awesome and my kids love (8 and 11) think it is hilarious.

Why didn't you capitalize the W and A? Show some respect, jeez.

As a resident of the great state of South Carolina—epicenter of the War of Northern Aggression—I must point out that Mr. Montgomery broke the first law of SC automobiling: minorities, especially imposing and colossal ones, have no place talking to police officers, especially dimwitted and…