Dear Bobby,

Is there a chunky soup recipe in there?

If he'd been a real Dodgers fan, he would have left the city council meeting early to beat the traffic.

Somewhere, Red Adair is smiling.

Aww, soozy. You know GWAR? Want to have certain-to-be-retarded babies?

Texans, perhaps you should consider careers outside of the hairdressing and cosmetics industry. I hear the Rangers need an outfielder or two.

I'm sad that WASP usurped GWAR for the acronym-loving gore-metal representative on the list.

Congrats, Rob. Good to see one of our own growing a superiority complex and lording it over everyone else.

Five word sentences that started trouble for $2000 Alex:

Sexier than Flesh bot.

In retailiation, Nickelback has threaten to play the pregame show.

Gyroball makes for super happy fun times. Naturally, the Sox fans are already depressed about it. Let's not assume that his shoulder's gonna explode until it actually does, k? Everyone else around baseball pretty well agrees that that glass is half-full right now.

Wert, you sly son of a bitch. When did you start putting the "celebrity" tag on things that mention you?

HBWS: Just how dumb do you think we are? "Sure, let me deliberately click the link with goatse in the url."

I watched the video while listening to the new Tenacious D cd. It worked somehow.

I for one welcome our fugly automotive overlords.

Briefly dated a girl with a 302 Boss. She couldn't really pull it off, and in retrospect that's probably why we didn't work out.

I'm hoping that this is the first of many uses of the "Kinga Philipps" tag.

These hip hop kids today, with their pants hanging off of their ass, and their double-sided dildos. In my day, we had a one sided dildo and we had to share it, goddammit!

Wow. Wert passed up the perfect opportunity for the "Grab Life By The Hoons" headline.