I enjoyed when Sandra Bullock accepted her Razzie a few years ago, and she gave everyone in the room a DVD of All About Steve as revenge. Skip to 2:10 for her actual speech.

NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo! I'm still reeling from discovering Blossom is anti-vax.

I believe the correct terminology for Johnny Depp is "elderly gay windchime."

Where did this myth come from? Seriously? Our culture is full of stories of women who end up with men on the low end of the Johnny Depp/Ryan Gosling spectrum. Even if not "forever," the ladies are still totes up for a romp in the orchestra section. Beauty and the Beast, The Phantom of the Opera, Cyrano de Bergerac…

Uterine fire sale, going on now! Everything north of the cervix and south of the ovaries MUST GO! Womb with a view, no previous occupants, well-maintained, shuts down monthly for two days of cleaning. Does this sound like the perfect little addition to you? All offers looked at, cash preferred, miles…

I know it's a typo but a "life" button under Facebook photos of babies sounds disturbingly like an anti-choice campaign waiting to happen.

The Teva Jordanelle - $180

What is the particular reason for live-plucking? It sounds like it's more of a hassle, for both birds and plucker, and you end up with a lot of dead geese anyway. So why do it that way to begin with?

It's not a Disney version of Monster High. Is a Disney Version of Mattel's other big property right now, Ever After High. Right down to the part where the "evil kids" have to decide if they're going to grow up and be evil or not.

That comes from the perception that boys never ever want to buy toys of girls, and vice versa. And to be fair it's probably rooted in a lot of marketing research, but that doesn't mean they're interpreted the data correctly. Do boys never buy toys of girls because they have a natural aversion to such things, or are…

I'm willing to give her leeway on this one because it's not very "out there" behavior, even from a man who isn't an abuser. If his complaint was she wasn't home enough, and they both wanted children eventually, I could easily see him pushing to have them sooner rather than later. It doesn't have to be a conscious…

My boss' wife once asked me, "How will your future husband feel if you deny him children?" The woman was the Absolute Dictator of Inappropriate Questionistan. I was at the time single and have always been sketchy about the concept of marriage, but that mythic husband figure seems to be the last desperate guilt trip.…

Ah yes, the "I'm photo-referencing a Sports Illustrated model" method of art. An industry favorite since 1964. Keep them creative chops sharped!

Discontinued sister joke!

There's probably a good song under there somewhere, not all the lyrics are bad. If you can understand them. When coupled with a bad singer with terrible enunciation, the song goes from bland, inelegant pop fare to WTF. When I first heard this I thought it was a weird rape anthem, because of the part where she…

This reminds me of the paper that claimed women liked shopping because it's more like picking berries and nuts, and men like getting in and out of the store as fast as possible because that's more like hunting.

That might be hard because it's super long list and they don't publish it. There are some other really interesting statistics too, like only 2% of the total membership is under 40.

If women stayed away from everything that was ever unpleasant/complicated/difficult/unwelcoming, we'd live in little boxes on shelves.

Toilet paper shreds quickly, especially if you do anything active like biking during the day. It's just not meant to stand up to wear caused by basic activities like walking. The shreds get little bits of lint all up in your underbusiness and are a pain to pick out. Even a little damp, toilet paper sticks to…

That's good! You don't see those often in the department stores. I live near one of the big Lego stores so I see them selling individual bricks for pennies and I have no idea what the landscape outside looks like.