I assume he was "up for whatever."

Coincidentally, "Jubliant Relief" was also the name of one of the strippers whose cleavage Gronk drank vintage Four Loko out of after the game.

Since Mesopotamia.

For all the Patriots playoff games this year, my sons and I have all donned our No. 12 Tom Brady jerseys. We wore them because Brady is so darn good, so darn handsome

Force the Pats to be on Hard Knocks for the next two seasons. Belichick would lose his fucking mind.

Sacramento? Vegas? Who the hell is Forbes polling? Appraisers of vacant lots?

With the Niners and now the Broncos, is this some new type of mindset that's taken hold where, if you don't win a Super Bowl, you totally dismantle what still got you into the playoffs? (Obviously, no, the Niners didn't make the playoffs, but two NFC title games and a SB appearance isn't too shabby).

311 ?

Only a poseur would bottle on an even-numbered day.

In a related suit, the NFL has been charged with disseminating images of the Jets sucking, and fucking themselves all year.

I'd be pretty embarrassed and ashamed to be Jermaine Cunningham right about now.

When I read Whitlock's anti-rap diatribes then see him use rap greats for comparison, it feels like he's struggling to balance his identity as a black man and as a journalist. I feel him fighting to carry the weight of racism that this country's history has put on him. The duality of black consciousness constantly…

"Ooh. Somebody else turned down the Jets. Well, boo-fucking-hoo."

i'm typing this in one hand b/c i have yet to remove my other hand from my penis having read the penis entries recoiling in fear and relexively grabbing my penis to prevent anything from getting lodged in my urethra

This sounded sooooooo good in your head.

KISS THE RINGS

This is definitely an upgrade. Why start the second most punchable QB face when you can go with the league's most punchable QB face?

The last thing Jay Cutler wants any part of is giving a young kid a shot.

This speech is impressively long and focused for a guy who has AD issues