Joel McHale on the late, lamented The Soup pronounced it “Jew-dice.”

My father used to fly a lot for work. One time an airline he flew frequently had a fairly serious accident, and I asked him if he was nervous to fly with them after that.

My best friend went to a religious private school like that and now knows basically nothing about science. I kid him that his favorite science class was Old Testament.

My grandma told me brown eggs came from the chicken’s other hole.

When I was ten, I tried my hand at shoplifting. I ripped a Star Wars figure out of its package, stuffed it into my sock, and walked right into the clerk who was standing less than arms’ length away, watching me do it.

In case no one else has referenced this:

Another ode to the Kardashian / Jenner family motto: “Look at me. Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!!!”

By the fourth quarter of the year, my wife’s office is a minefield of people whose sick and vacation days are used up, so they come into work. This is the portion of the year when my wife buy hand sanitizer by the gallon.

I remember seeing a commercial for this, and thinking, “Who asked for this? Are there that many Seth Rogen fans that this is a profitable enterprise?”

Somewhere out there, there’s someone who is very surprised by this news.... probably the same person who sees clickbait ads and thinks, “There’s a simple trick for losing weight??? I gotta see this!”

But it looks and sounds so cooooooool....

Dear Cameron Crowe:

When I was five, we visited a local steakhouse that had free refills on soda. This was a novelty for us, especially me. I ordered soda after soda after soda, more carbonated beverage than I had ever been exposed to up to that time.

My uncle’s funeral was a mess.

I’ve eaten at all three Lambert’s locations. Catching the throwed rolls (I think if you correct them on the grammar, they will kick you out) is part of the experience, part of the fun. Plus, when they throw them, it’s always a soft, lofting throw that almost anyone can catch — THEY WANT YOU TO CATCH THE ROLLS.

You want to make sure your new toilet is glazed. Glazing is where the toilet coated with a slick porcelain finish — the outside and the bowl are almost always glazed, but you want to make sure the trapway (the tunnel inside the toilet from the bowl to the sewer pipe) is glazed as well.

Seeing “nuns” and “cheesecake” in the same headline had me thinking awful, awful, NSFW things.

Clearly James Kirk cannot be a Republican because he loves aliens. LOVES THEM ALL.

I think part of the issue is that women’s wear for the office is usually less substantial than men’s. Simply, women are encouraged to wear lighter clothes that show more skin, which holds in less heat.

Recommended new title: Bad Decisions on Parade.