Maybe Ryan writes with a comical Italian accent?

In that worker’s defense... the Jalopnik articles posted September 2023 to October 2024 were absolute fire, they were probably nose-deep in their smartphone reading and commenting...

“Shaking the rocket” is the Euphemism of the Year for 2025.

Ford F-150 the size of a speedboat where the only headlights are high beams. Comes preloaded with TRUMP and SUPPORT THE POLICE bumper stickers.

I mean, Elon has been pretty busy with X and kowtowing to tRump...

VW Beetle. Seems like a no-brainer.

It looks like five-year-old Tannhauser’s attempt to draw the family station wagon.

Seems like Darwinism in action to me...

What didn’t I learn the hard way??

Same.

Driving to my school to drop off a paper in the distant pre-internet past. The weather was bad, but I really wanted to just get to school, hand over my assignment, and get on with my day.

Don’t yuck someone else’s yum, man.

Suddenly I picture Mayim Bialik rushing from offstage, kicking Ryan Seacrest out of the way, and screaming “IT’S MINE, IT’S MINE, IT’S MINE!!!!!!”

If ever there was a movie that deserves a cult following, it’s this one.

with John Schneider — Bo Duke himself — behind the wheel

* “Flee,” not “Flea”

I can imagine their playlist:

“X is the Best Name!”
“Cut Me with Your Frunk”
“Thank God I’m a White Supremacist!”

Glitchy, Damaged Nightmare would make an excellent title for a history of Tesla.

THIS. Do we really need to tell people this??

And did he leave a note??

Of course not!