Well, thanks for that tidbit of information. You know, I WAS going to eat lunch but I think the whole exploding-anusless-mites-living-in-your-glands thing kinda made me lose my appetite for the rest of my life. Now I guess I'll use my lunch time to squeeze out any pinata-mites that might be residing (and trolling…

Despite being sleep deprived I made myself stay up just to see forklift foot (and learn some more newfandangle Honey Boo Boo slang *vajiggle jaggle!*). Though the toe was pretty gnarly, it wasn't that bad. What got me were the gnats swarming around the toe, as if it were some sort of dead appendage found on the side…

First, do you and I share the same sister? If we do, can we go halvsies on her birthday gift? I was thinking a bedazzled starbucks-sephora gift card, with a knock-off coach emblem scraped onto the back of it! Also, I totally agree with you about how Kanye seems to only compliment Kim on her aesthetics, but then…

Just read that Snooki's entourage/family took over the entire maternity ward and doctors were trying to move other expectant mothers from the floor to accommodate the lollipop guild/family. I would have been livid if I was in labor and they tried to roll me to another floor. I'd Michael Moore that place, recording…

I know George doesn't want any lil' Clooneys of his own, but I just think that people in general harass women about having children, the older they get, regardless of their wish to have any of their own. I guess I should have used a better example, but truth be told, George Clooney is often at the forefront of my…

I will mass-produce these babies [t-shirts, not actual babies] like a friggin' Octomom!

Can we please start talking about George Clooney's sperm and give Jennifer Aniston's Eggos a break? Also, can I get this article blown up onto a T-shirt so that I can stop explaining to people that as a feminist I just want to have equal rights/opportunities as men, and perhaps, share in the "second shift" instead of…

omgawsh, I think I might have thrown up in my mouth. What grosses me out a bit is that in PR culture there is this ice treat made from condensed milk and coconut milk, and frozen into a tiny water cooler cup. So, I'm picturing the main villainess of that Hentai drinking what we call a Limbel, but it's actually…

I'm in. Where do I sign, and when do I get my freakin' yacht?! I'm uber qualified. I can, like, speak and stuff, and during my senior year at Bowdoin College I was in the Vagina Monologues and completely killed it during my recital of "My Angry Vagina". I mean, no one delivered "Vagina mother fuckers!" in a sassier,…

Yuppers, Jezebel is where I first learned of the study. I must have thrown up a bit while reading it.

Let's do this! I'll meet you on the street with a clipboard and a tape recorder!

In my day (oh boy, I feel old) I would spend hours feeding and petting my Giggapet, and learning useless facts about the Backstreet Boys, like what is Nick Carter's favorite cologne. I think that Maude will be OK, seeing as she has the ability to step back and think, "Wow, this is kind of ridiculous!" Here's to hoping…

This sort of reminds me of that doctor who claimed (without any form of proof) that sperm is a cure for morning sickness! Back when I was in college there were rumors (perpetuated by stupid, stupid boys) that spluge could A. "cure" anemia, B. help you lose weight (a-la Lil' Kim stomach pumping?), C. whiten your…

I actually want to look into that. Finally, a use for the piles of magazines stuffed under my desk! I know that many times monthly mags have a male columnist who gives women advice based on specific questions asked, or ask a male celebrity about what it is that he's looking for in a woman, but the fact that these…

OMG, I wrote about this on my blog (http://chicaandthecity.com/?p=679 ) two days ago! When I read this stupid article on Sunday night, couldn't wait to wake up and blog about it! I'm convinced these "real men" are actually freakin' salon owners trying to drum up more business, seeing as all of the

I was totally going to write something snarky about Ashely Depraved (is that how you spell her last name? Yeah, I think so.) but the you all held up news about Childish Gambino like a shiny diamond necklace around a large man's neck, and I got distracted! Tina Fey set the bar high with her Gambino cameo, so Leona…

The next one will be Konceit Kristal Bierman, or Karat Krown Bierman. Ugh, the more of these names I try to think up, the more I start to like them. Is that a sign that I should just tie my tubes before I end up with my own La-a (Ladasha) or T'nisha?

I just imagine a bunch of men holding babies chasing this truck like it's Mr. Softee! "Hey, man, excuse me, can I get two DNA tests and a chocolate cone with sprinkles?" Then I imagine what will happen if the baby doesn't belong to the man. Will he just leave the baby in the truck, saying, "Not my baby, not my…

Jeah, doing movement is hard, but taking your shirt off makes it easier. Look at all that freedom his torso has to, like, do movements such as pointing (TWICE!), half-hugging a female hottie and turning around. The man is obviously a natural! Can we have him on "Game of Thrones"? I think they can use a few topless…

Everyone was blaming ONLY Chris because as far as I know Rihanna was not taking his hand and punching herself with it, nor was she saying "Is that all you got? I need my head cracked, can you hit me a bit harder?". No, he was a—and I use this term loosely—grown man (ugh, my tongue feels filty), who raised his hand…