Did Rihanna conceptualize the video herself? Or are we giving her far too much credit? Serious question. Until I know otherwise, I’m only comfortable saying the video for “American Oxygen” will make you think—not Rihanna. Hell, she didn’t even write the song on her own. But I will give her this: she knows how to pick…

Oh, that onion 'bout makes me want to cry!

Let's not forget La-a (pronounced: Ladasha). Yup, you pronounce the freakin' dash! I think I'm going to get my tubes tied on my lunch break.

I think I just ovulated! Wait, no, it was just that damn taco I had for lunch. But, still! Cah-yute!

Gotta try this boulder-holder! My chichis thank you. The men at my gym, however, are probably pissed. Win-win! :-)

Can we also talk about high beams? Why is it nearly impossible for sports bra manufacturers to include a little nipple coverage in their lycra boobytraps. If and when my boobs aren't been strangled into submission while wearing a sports straight-jacket, my nips are screaming "howdy-doo!" to everyone at the gym. It's…

I'm totally on board the gay-interracial-spidey train! But then again, I was all aboard the Donald Glover for Spidey train as well. Do I earn travel points for jumping onto so many diversity trains? Are there any blackout dates? I need answers!

Well, basically! I'm not looking for a wombmate any time soon. Plus, even if I tried to plan for a procrastinated baby, I'd still have to shell out a lot of dinero—hello, frozen eggs! At this point, I'm all "fuck it" about baby-making. I'll wait until I'm financially able to start putting all of that "practice" to…

No, but seriously, Chris Pratt is God's way of letting me know that he loves me. Here is the man who introduced the phrase "awesome sauce" into my vocabulary and sporadically morphs his abs into a fleshy xylophone for me to stare at. He's the very definition of awesome sauce. That is all.

Where's the Tainas and Shaniquas who were born and raised in Brooklyn, who were molded by Brooklyn, and who embody the culture that is and has always been Brooklyn? Aren't they Brooklyn girls? Oh yeah, they were outpriced and now live in the Bronx. Never mind. As you were.

OTHERS have suffered w/ my BRF for years. I'm fine with it. It only becomes an issue every single second that I'm outside, living my life. That's all. You know, when men I don't know yell at me to "smile, ma" or remind me that "ain't nothin' that bad to look so sad about." Um, dude, that's my face! And btw, who dafuq…

I don't know why, but I feel that Amanda Bynes will actually be ON the bus for this one.

Tom Hardy....yum! I'd give up sugar for a year to be able to....er, dream a little big bigger with him.

I've got my ankle weights and pearls, but I left my camel toe at home! Can I still prancercise? I need answers!

Every single time I read something about Amanda Bynes, I just think, "We saw this coming with her 'Dear Ashley' skit for All That, didn't we?"

How about the fact that there aren't any prompts for men to get "Board-short ready"? Men aren't made to feel ashamed of their "squishy" bellies, small breasts (because, c'mon, some of them have 'em), muffin tops and so on and so forth. In New York, I often see men—young and old—strutting around my neighborhood, sans…

We had a sibling group in my elementary school who went through a very similar experience. In each of their classes, each sibling would draw stares and prompt wrinkled-noses, with many of our class pictures featuring children leaning away from the unpleasant smelling child(ren). It was really sad. Most of the siblings…

WTF, world? Why do so many women fake pregnancy as a joke?

Knope, not happy about this one bit. Nick Kroll isn't funny—well, at least when he's writing his own stuff. I absolutely hate his stand-up, his sketch show, and his mouth! I really, really hate his mouth!!! IDK why. I'd rather watch nothing but movies, television shows and web series written, directed and starring Kim…

Those are the lyrics to "Suit & Tie".