True fact, until i was in high school auto mechanics class I thought this was the only way this was ever done.

Tupac and Jim Morrison and Elvis are alive.

A stripper-costume designer who has no problem exploiting the system for free chicken to feed to the animals at the shelter where she volunteers. I like the cut of her jib. Her doubtlessly tiny, be-sequined jib.

But the 'Anal itching' caused by seat vibration? That's absolutely worth investigating. America's anuses must be kept itch-less.

I'll try to remember this when dealing with Stressful High-Intensity Transactions.

Also, stapling a squirrel to your head won't cure baldness.

No matter how long you've been driving, it's never too late to learn better habits. Automatic is a little Bluetooth dongle that plugs into your car's OBD-II port (found on almost any car made since 1996) and communicates with your phone to track driving habits, mileage, and engine problems. Best of all, if you're in…

How has no one tried this with a swamp boat yet? With the big fan in back I wouldn't think you would need a tow.

Well this is embarassing. I wore the same outfit to work today.

Politician-bot, activate!

You can have my beard when you pry it from my cold, dead face. Which, you have to admit, would be pretty gross.

They were named in honor of the Thompson Twins.

That's known as the "Cheney seat"

Pretty sure that's a ritz cracker.

I'm having a hard time coming up with a cloaca equivalent metaphor. You'll just have to trust me.

You know what they say, when you make an assumption you make an ass out of me and umption, or something like that.

Assuming you are a mammal, as I have every reason to believe, then yes, that would be a correct statement.

Hawkmen! Dive!

do not take a flying leap and land on a dick.

I think that means you have A.D.D. and got distracted before finishing.