None of these lists include “getting hit by a bus”, I am disappointed in you Deadspin!

Quite frankly, at many hospitals it is absolutely true. As someone who works with doctors behind the scenes, the ones at major hospitals who make the big money tend to be complete assholes. The broeist, pickiest, jerkiest people I’ve ever met were specialty doctors; they simply do not care. I saw a doctor have his…

All is despair, everything is ash in my mouth. US Soccer has decided, in the face of overwhelming problems that could absolutely destroy the men’s soccer program, to stay the fucking course. US Soccer has told every single fan out there “hey fuck you, your opinion doesn’t matter, fuck off and buy our shit like a good…

Huh, weird. I’ve been to Jacksonville, and while certain section were definitely run down, I wouldn’t have thought that it was so cheap to live there. As for Narnia, well it seems to mostly be empty according to Mr. Lewis, weirdly enough.

Do you live in fucking Narnia?

Only a small fraction make it to the NFL and actually make a living from it. Almost certainly everyone in this video has CTE. Almost certainly they had it when they entered the NFL, and it has simply gotten worse. The 18-22 year old kids destroying their brains for no pay are exploited by the NCAA. The kids destroying…

This, of course, varies, but negotiations with players is not like what you may have seen in movies. Remember, players are paying agents to do this sort of stuff for them, that’s why they get their percent of the deal. Generally speaking, an agent (and their agency, if they’re part of one) would negotiate with…

-1 Union fort.

So I guess it’s cool if I tie the DA to a bench, cover his head in a towel, tell him I’m going to piss on him and then pour warm water over his face until he chokes so long as he stops resisting when I remove the towel then right?

+1 victim NDA

I drove the train at the zoo! There are other things there!

Then you want Train Simulator.

Remember how we all laughed at Furby being banned on in sensitive areas? Shit like this is why the US military ban stuff like Furby and other devices that may monitor you.

Exactly. I can buy a flamethrower right now for less than $300 and have it delivered “free same day” from Amazon. Musk selling some for $500 ain’t that bad.

Bad news, Salty Walrus is already taken:

ArsenalMetro above compared them to the Buffalo Bills and I think that’s the best analogy. They don’t spend much in the way of money, they aren’t particularly talented, but somehow they’ve been to MLS Cup multiple times and lost each time, often in heartbreaking fashion. Are the Krafts making money? Probably. It’s…

The NFL is still a shitty organization. Water remains wet. God remains dead. And we have killed him.

Well of course he’s always wearing gloves, he’s the Zodiac Killer.

I will say this for him, he does look a lot like Duke Nukem.

If it’s a blowout, I know it’s coming, the blow is softened and I know it’s coming. Hell, if I want to, I can shut the game off and do something else. If it’s a heartbreaker, I watched the whole game and was given hope that it would work out, only for it to go wrong at the last moment.