Getting that tattooed on my BF’s penis, brb.

I have a very clear memory, from when I was about 12, of my mother angrily telling me about a family we knew from church, and how their horrible daughter, who was a few years years older than me, had “ruined her family” by reporting that her stepfather had molested her. It didn’t even occur to my mother, or anyone…

When I rule the world the punishment for snapping your fingers to summon a server shall be the loss of said digits. I can’t even read a description of someone doing that without a red haze descending across my vision.

My father is a retired Colonel, Marine Corp. Vietnam, First Gulf War, Baghdad in 2005, was nearly killed on 9-11 as HOS of the Pentagon. He tells me, in those moments of certain perceived death, everything slows down and you live outside of yourself. Time is not a concept that exists, as Einstein theorized.

That’s true, but with shops like greenman offering huge discounts, it can sometimes be hard to resist. I’ve been burned sufficiently this time to learn my lesson though. A $59.99 console version that works correctly is better than an unplayable, but more affordable PC version.

Sadly, I don’t think DC/WB has the equivalent of Kathleen Kennedy wandering around the fan community. More’s the pity.

I’m 28 and I cried six times TODAY. (Shut up, I was reading a really poignant book while working an unexpected grave shift, you guys would have cried too.)

Windows 98 wasn’t good until SE. Windows Me worked just fine for me, because I knew how to configure it. XP was, of course, great (but not amazing until after SP1). Vista worked just fine for me because I knew how to configure it (it still runs just fine on my laptop). 7 is XP reborn. 8 was kinda annoying, but 8.1…

This isn’t exactly ‘grim’ but basically this is what hubby and I text each other every day when we’re in different parts of the house:

does OKCupid count?

if so there’s this one...

I fucking love the idea of using Socratic Questioning in the style of cognitive-behavior therapy in sexting. I’m just gonna ask you questions until you reach the conclusion I’d like you to reach; it’s much more salient if you’re able to get there on your own.

I’m surprised grooveshark was still around!

Hi dad.

Although if you have to turn the heating up to compensate, it's a false economy.

No one can say you are not an accommodating host.

You laugh, but not long ago, someone quoted Louis CK, and I pointed out that he acknowledged that he was quoting Margaret Atwood there, and the commenter (who I'm pretty sure was a woman) informed me that it didn't really "sink home" until Louis CK said it. And I screamed into a pillow.

I've read that women actually have a better sense of smell, on average. If that's true they should have really paid attention when you smelled something off. Silly boys. Glad things worked out.

Now are you going to tell me that people sometimes die without their tongue hanging out the side of their mouths like cartoon characters?? Noooooooooo!

PS- I know all about the chalk outline trope. I'm a cop and I always carry a piece of chalk with me, but it's just to draw giant dicks next to dead bodies. That's,…

God, this video x a million.