This is what happens when a studio pushes back a movie release after a third party has already set it’s own schedule.

I’d love if this were just a regular ass political drama or romance and occasionally a zombie runs by in the background because at this point everyone knows the rules and is used to it.

It's worth noting pretty much every horror franchise has a bunch of hapless kids slowly learning about the killer we've know as an audience for about a dozen movies.

Wait, you didn't assume the dad was also a Vampire the second you saw the trailer?

“A bunch of people are hired to murder a daughter....”

M. Night’s entire gimmick is “twists” so if you see his name on the movie you always go in expecting one.

From the moment I saw the trailer I figured the reveal was they were set up to get fed to the daughter.

Dramatic irony is a thing and people need to stop getting pissy about stuff like this.

I’ve listened to some of her newer stuff and it’s so fun! She really does need some more love.

The twist is that it’s the daughter, right? And Hartnett is either just the doting father who’s desperate to keep his daughter’s secret or (at most) is the guy who kidnaps the people for her to kill.

Wait...what?! Was that one of the reasons they had to pull a Gamera episode off one of the boxed sets?

He could have hired the best artists and it wouldn’t matter if he handed them shit to work with.

Paging Sandy Frank!

How can a movie simultaneously be focused and unbalanced? Character-driven yet emotionally vapid?

Yeah, but he’s 13 and not 58.

Kinda telling that’s the first place you went...

Beholders come immediately to mind.

I’ve found most of the lightsaber fights in ‘new’ Star Wars to be weirdly staid and almost a bit clumsy

Right. But we don’t just go “oh well that’ll be men being men...”

“I really want a do-over on the thinly veiled fetish fuel I made of these women being exploited and then murdered.”