A truer truth has never been truthed.

Because an animated image of the app does a far better job of showing what it’s like than a static image?

This bear’s playing the long game. Let the idiot make his video. All the other idiots will see the video, and try to splash other bears.
Boom! 1,000 easy bear meals.

I play with my cat with straws. He attacks them like a vicious/adorable killer.
Start ‘em off with tiny “snakes”, then move up to big “snakes” later?

When I make a ham and cheese sandwich, I use the cheese to spread the mayo on the bread instead of a knife.

It’s a corset!

Been there. Bet you had it fixed inside of 10 minutes anyway ;)

When the coffee maker has a touchscreen...

Honest question: do you think I’ll be able to enjoy this new run, having never watched the original show?

My wife loves X-Files, but I’ve never seen an episode. I’m sure I’ll be watching with her, but I don’t think I’ll have the time to watch the original episodes.

Chocolate ice cream is garbage, and should be replaced by something better, like being mauled by a bear.

Sorry, I opened the article, got distracted by work for a couple hours, then replied, not seeing the dozen other replies about the bedroom towel.

Anyway, I really recommend you try hanging out in a nice dry climate, like Colorado. In place of the hand-squeegee, I do a quick dog-shake, half-ass toweling my hair (or…

Bedroom towel? Please elaborate so we can decide if you’re insane or a genius.

Stand down, you’re both right. Just a grammatical misunderstanding, nothing to see here.

But if you’re that busy, how can you ever have time for a vacation?

And just leave the zipper pulls hanging out at some random location along the zipper? Madness!

I do, but only because I’m a bit OCD about putting things where they belong, and my zipper pulls...

He’s taken one too many shots to the head.

The kid’s fine. He’s standing on the nose of an ugly but friendly whale, who will see him safely to shore and teach him the true meaning of friendship.

I’m taking a more balanced approach - trying to get Mariota off waivers in my fantasy league.

Yeah, I think it’s the part where you have to do <something> to the source material in order to get sugars produced that qualifies as “brewing”.