Ah, shit, I totally missed the post for submissions. I'll have to hold onto my freaky story until next year.

Knoebels! I missed this story, but omg. Let's talk Knoebels.

Personally, I'm a big fan of liquor ghost. Or Casper the Friendly Ghost, e.g., Devon Sawa. Whom I pined after as a preteen.

"Kanye wants his wedding to be "the event everyone will talk about for years to come" (sorry, climate change)."

Just because.

Just search for something like wedding favors and you'll get a metric shitfuckery of plastic Made in China crap.

He's one of the most famous fashion photographers right now, with none of the creepy hangups of Terry Richardson! (I hope.) Also, appears on ANTM.

Ahh! I have four Edith Head sketches on my bathroom walls. Basically, my bathroom is the poshest place in my apartment. I get really excited when guests go pee because I know that room makes me look much more stylish than I am.

I have gotten sick and tired of explaining to people why blackface is never OK. Just because your black friend wasn't offended doesn't mean that it isn't deeply offensive to others. Blackface was used to demean a minority; it's not "satire," it's not "just a joke." Pls to stop using "my black friend didn't mind"…

I love Rose McGowan's gow(a)n. Oh, Monique Lhullier.

Because it's OK if a man cooks for money. It's not OK if a man cooks at home because it's enjoyable. He should be sitting on the couch and watching Jeopardy!, dammit.

Read that as "Debbie Henry Rocks the Many Textured Hooded Democrat."

I don't think they ever reveal the results, and then she just kind of disappears from the cast.

That is such a burn.

^—-

Okay. Let me clarify.

Someone once jokingly said this to me at a crowded party, and I replied "I'm currently accepting applications!" No one laughed.

I prefer a jaunty Red Wedding-inspired foxtrot.

Yeah, you're right, actually. It's like Haute Mummy.

Alternate title for this event: An Overdose of Calvin Klein.